I would always say that I was alone. Whenever bad things happened I would swear no one cared about me. The drink was my family and friend. It really made me look for the wrong and sadness in everyone and everything. Making me need it more than a better life. When I became sober I learned that the endless pit of sadness and wrong was all created by me wanting to be a drunk. Fights with family and friends can all be added to the urge to have a reason to drink. Yes at first it started out fun with family and friends. Then it was every drink at every grouping that ended in arguments, so I would have a reason to lock myself alone in a room with my drink. Feelings like a person looking for a lost love drunken and alone. But when I tasted sobriety it was like a hidden gift to me. I no longer felt I needed love because for some reason I felt loved. I understand that for you things might feel as if you have lost a love. But no matter what it may cost, hold on to your sobriety cause it can be that love that you lost……..