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Sobriety And Medication Problems

AS YOU JUMP THRU DARKNESS ON ALCOHOLIC ROAD TO STAY SOBER. YOU MAY NOT NOTICE SOME ISSUES WITH MEDICATIONS THAT YOU MAY TAKE. TO MOST PEOPLE MEDICATION IS A BLESSING. TO AN ALCOHOLIC MEDICATION CAN JUST BE ANOTHER FORM OF ALCOHOL THAT ENTERS YOUR SYSTEM. THE MEDICATION OF ANY KIND IS A DRUG. IF YOU ARE A ADDICT IT DOESN’T HELP YOU STAY CLEAN. IF YOU ARE AN ALCOHOLIC DON’T BE FOOLED BECAUSE YOU DON’T FEEL DRUNK. THE MEDICATION IS AFFECTING YOU JUST AS MUCH AS ALCOHOL AFFECTED YOU. IN ORDER TO JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND TRULY STAY SOBER. YOU MIGHT HAVE TO WATCH WHAT YOU TAKE WHEN IT COMES TO MEDICATION. ALSO TELL YOUR DOCTOR YOU ARE WORKING YOUR SOBRIETY PROGRAM(JTD). SO THEY CAN GIVE YOU MEDICATION THAT KEEPS YOUR BODY FREE FROM DRUGS. OFTEN TIMES PEOPLE REPLACE ALCOHOL WITH MEDICATION GETTING THEM HOOKED ON PILLS. SO FIND NATURAL WAYS TO EASE PAIN IF YOU CAN. IF YOU GET A COLD GET YOU SOME APPLE CIDER VINEGER AND SOME LEMON JUICE WITH A LITTLE HONEY MIX IT UP AND DRINK IT FOR COLD MEDICATION. IF YOU MIX IT RIGHT IT SHOULD TASTE LIKE THERAFLU. LETS FACE IT MEDICATION ISN’T CHEAP SO THIS WAY YOU CAN EVEN GET ALL THESE THINGS WITH FOOD STAMPS AND STAY HEALTHY. I USE THIS MYSELF AND IT WORKS. ALSO START TAKING FISH OIL OR FLAX SEED OIL IN THE FALL IT HELPS TO FIGHT AGAINST THE FLU AND INFLAMMATION DOING THE WINTER MONTHS. WHICH ALLOWS YOU TO KEEP YOUR BODY FREE FROM DRUGS AND ALCOHOL ALL WHILE JUMPING THRU DARKNESS ON ALCOHOLIC ROAD…….JTD

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Addicts They Say You’re No Better Than Dirt…..

YOU MAY FEEL HOPELESS BECAUSE OF YOUR CRIMINAL RECORD. IT MAKES YOU FEEL YOU HAVE NO CHANCE IN LIFE BUT THE WAYS OF THE STREETS. EVEN IF YOU SMART AND EDUCATED YOU KNOW ONE ARREST AND YOU FLIPPING PENNIES IN THE WISHING WELL LIKE ALL THE OTHERS. IF YOU WAS A TEACHER YOU CAN’T TEACH ANYMORE. IF YOU WAS A BOSS YOU KNOW YOUR DAYS OF HOLDING THE COMPANY DOWN ARE GONE. YOU LOOK AT YOUR KIDS AND HATE THAT ONE DAY YOU WILL LEAVE EARTH. YOU LOVE BEING THEIR PROTECTOR NOW BUT ONE DAY YOU WILL BE GONE. THE HEARTS OF THE UNJUST WISH TO LIVE FOREVER. RATHER ITS FOR THE LOVE OF THEIR CHILDREN OR THE PAIN OF LEAVING FOREVER. WHEN YOU SEE PEOPLE THAT HAVE HAD PROBLEMS REMEMBER NO ONE OR NOTHING IS REALLY BETTER. DIRT MADE YOUR HOMES. DIRT MADE THE WALLS. DIRT BUILT MOUNTAINS AND EVEN THE ROADS. IF EVERYTHING WE USE IN LIFE HAS SOME DIRT IN IT. WHY ARE WE SO QUICK TO CONDEMN PEOPLE WHO ARE WEAK IN IT. LETS JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND GIVE MORE SUPPORT TO THOSE WHOM MAY NEED OR WANT TO RECOVER FROM THEIR ADDICTIONS. JUST LIKE WE STRENGTHEN DIRT TO MAKE A HOME. LETS STRENGTHEN OUR LOVE FOR THE UNJUST ALL AROUND. HELPING THEM TO FIND BETTER WAYS TO LIVE. CAUSE SOME DIRT HELPS US BUILD……..JTD

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That Old Buddy Of Mine Named Bottle Of Wine….

Dear buddy you were the best bud a drunk could find. You were always there when it was hard times. Like most friends you didn’t abandon me when I was broke. In the middle of the night you was still with me no matter where I wanted to go. When I had to vomit from drinking to much, You was right there with some more. When I did change clothes, well you all know a drunk keeps drinks not a wardrobe. But you had a variety like a rich person’s closet inside a home. When my ex put me out the house. Like a superhero you flew through the window and knocked her new lover out. You even gave me the last swallow before you dashed into the window. But now to get sober and clean means I must Jump Thru Darkness and walk alone further. I truly enjoyed being your friend and hope one day all friends with bottles become sober…..JTD

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Life Can Make You FEEL Like Being Sober Is WRONG……

Just sitting in a chair and I started thinking about all the things that make an addiction what it is in life. From medicine that gets you hooked. To smoking weeds from the ground that everyone wants. When the criminals look less than the leaders when it comes to being crooks. Hoping the bible does get banned for being an open minded book. Adults that say learning about sexual identities is better than learning math under thirteen. So when you see and hear all that it kinda does make you want to drink and smoke. Standing in the middle of a field of confusion feeling like sobriety was the wrong choice chosen. Asking for help just to be laughed at by an drunken angel. With only hope on your side you still must Jump Thru Darkness and stick it out for the long ride. Forget about dreams and pride, don’t rush just stay focused and take your time. And instead of addictions give sobriety one helluva ride…..JTD

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Saving Yourself From Your Addictions….

Truth is you can do any and every program to get sober and clean that you can find. Problem with that is none of them will work if getting sober and clean is not deep inside your mind. The number one program you should learn is about loving and saving yourself. A hard fact is no one really cares about your situation as long as your situation does not cause problems in their situations. As far as many others are concerned you can be as drunk and as high as you want as long as you are leaving them alone. But that is okay because most addicts get drunk and high alone. More for me is the best words of an addict. The drinks and drugs become friends and family. But Jump Thru Darkness and decide to save yourself. Show the demons of addictions that you have some fight left. And most of all fight against your addictions for yourself…..JTD

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Lift Your Head …..

Listen most of us barely can put the light bill in our own names. We will never be able to pull a new car off the car lot in the same year we are living in. We all drive cars five to twenty years older than the latest model. Many would be homeless if they didn’t know how to fake a pay stub to get a place to stay. Or making it to college and clever minds work together with clothes hangers to rig the washer and dryer so everybody could stay clean. Jump Thru Darkness and lift your head up. Everybody has to learn to survive someway in life. Your addiction is no different than anybody else’s problems in life. We all have to build our own boats like Noah. Truth is many don’t know life that doesn’t have a problem in it. If you not worrying about anything you must be dead. I would say sleep but some of y’all know sleep don’t stop the worrying of how to pay the bills. The worrying of how to protect your kids. The worrying of finding job interviews for your lover on the couch. All while hiding your own failing health. If nothing else in your addictions Jump Thru Darkness when you have nothing left and hold your head up. Not for anyone else but for yourself………JTD

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Inside A Cube ( ADDICTIONS)

Okay lets talk about a feeling you might have while battling for your sobriety. The feeling of being a small box inside a Rubik’s Cube that’s inside a larger Rubik’s Cube with no sense or direction of where you belong. Finding your sobriety can feel like that everyday. Or standing in the middle of a pitch black room and reaching for the door, just to notice it seems the dark room has no walls or floors.You reach out with both hands reaching for a doorknob that’s seems to move every time you get closer. Trapped inside an endless darkness of puzzled moves that repeat your addictions over and over. Jump Thru Darkness and stop trying to solve the Rubik’s Cube puzzle of addictions with repeating bad moves. Stand in place and let sobriety move for you. No more reaching into the darkness just to grab hold of more addiction hopelessness. Stand still and find sobriety as you Jump Thru Darkness and let your sobriety solve the puzzle of being a small box inside a Rubik’s Cube……JTD

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NEXT DAY HANGOVER MEMORIES…..

Sitting on the floor in a dark room looking at the sun in the window. Worried if that’s someone’s body laying past the door. Your head starts to hurt and the hangover memories begin. You remember how it did begin. You remember dancing in the club. You don’t remember who you was kissing but when they said come on you held on. You remember running from a dog and kissing more while falling down. You remember your friends saying something but those kisses made the words pointless. You should really start Jumping Thru Darkness as soon as you remember how you ended up on the floor of an abandoned apartment. Now this could be a real scary moment if you are a woman. But the darkness doesn’t care about gender. So even a man would be scared looking towards that window….JTD

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Strength

As it seems your addictions make you feel like you strong and can handle anything. But truth is nothing can be more wrong. While playing in your addictions you tend to worry less. You think less about things that when sober you can’t get out of your head. Giving you that feeling that you are stronger than those mind worries or fears. That seems to always be there in your life when sober. When you Jump Thru Darkness you will finally feel your strength. The strength of being able to be okay with your flaws. The strength to forgive yourself for barely ever being right and always being wrong. The strength to Jump Thru Darkness and get sober and clean and move forward….JTD

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Empty sober ( A Fading Dark Addiction)…..

If you are waiting to feel sober. Buy a never-ending clock because that feeling often never comes. Today you don’t feel sober. Yesterday you didn’t feel sober. But Jump Thru Darkness and hope for that same empty feeling tomorrow. Just like an empty glass that use to have addictions in it. Empty is that feeling that lets you know you are sober and clean. So when you start feeling that way be proud you are finally becoming empty of addictions. Not every cloud stays dark during a storm. Some get brighter with time. So can your battle for sobriety. During your battle for sobriety the wind may blow strong and your faith may become weakened. But Jump Thru Darkness and know that the light of your sobriety is Fading the darkness of your addictions….JTD

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Don’t

One word can hold you together when nothing else seems to work. The word DON’T can be the only thing your ears need to hear. Don’t smoke that. Don’t drink that. If you out of money DON’T steal that six pack. Don’t lie to your lover just to buy another. Some things will make you want to reset time cause addictions are in your mind. Somethings will bring feelings of doing a crime to your mind. But Jump Thru Darkness and hear the word DON’T. Cause no matter how you feel and what you want to do. If you DON’T you WON’T……JTD

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Visions Of Feelings (Addictions)

Addictions are often visions of feelings you wish you really had. While inside your hours of addictions you can smile and laugh. You have the courage to dance and sing. You find it easy to talk to that person you have been dreaming about. Those fears that make you hug your own self seem to disappear. Simply visions of you inside a life of no worries at all. Well besides running out of money or being drunk and high before the party. Then you end up missing it all. Passed out on a floor or couch while everyone else shows your passed out dreams what a happy feeling is all about. Jump Thru Darkness and feel the visions of a happy sober life. Try to smile sober like you do when addictions have you mind. Elbow your fears and talk to him or her anyway. Bring that drug or alcoholic happiness into focus in your sober atmosphere. Then you will see that your addictions were just visions of feelings that wasn’t there…JTD

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The Word Reward Can Make You An Addict……

You will hear many stories about how someone became an alcoholic or a addict. The stories all have the same theme for most.Things like a bad childhood and abuse are at the top of the list for addiction excuses. What is not told is those that live right. Those that finish school and go to college. Those that finish college and get the good job. Those that feel they deserve a reward. So they reward themselves with a night out with some drinks or something to smoke. Depends on how good they make their lives. The rewards come more and more over and over again. Soon they find themselves an addict of rewards. The reward addiction then will have their eyes, breath, head and clothes all looking like they had a bad childhood and was abused. So Jump Thru Darkness and understand no status in society is protected from addictions. So when you treat yourself be smart and think of sobriety when you say the word reward…..

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Don’t Just Get Sober…Live Sober

Listen it’s easy to put a drink down. It’s easy to stop smoking drugs or doing pills etc…But one of the hardest things to do when living in your sobriety is to stop living, thinking, and doing things like a addict. Everything you want in life you still go about things in an addicts way. You want a certain apartment or house so you lie and do games to get the person kicked out or locked up. Then when things don’t fall in your favor you wonder why. Because you tried to achieve something using an addicts mind. For many it even plays out in relationships. Instead of loving from the heart many love from the wallet or purse. It’s all about what they can get and forget about what they should give. Every word said by those mouths are all said to give them a high from the situation. That’s still being a addict without the drugs or drinks. Jump Thru Darkness and start living sober. Stop looking at everyone as a mark that you can out smart. Being a schemer is also traits of an addict. Maybe that’s why things in those people’s lives never work out. Understand when you become sober and clean it’s a clean slate. That means the way you use to get what you wanted as an addict can’t be your go to attitude when you working your sobriety. Because in the end the only one that really falls is you to your own addiction schemes in society….JTD

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Stand Strong Alone (Sobriety)

So you make the plan to become sober and clean. You plan to go to a meeting and talk about all the things you did while an addict. Many get lost at that part because some addicts can’t and won’t tell all their secrets out loud to any crowd. Then they tell you to mend relationships with those who sometimes don’t deserve your friendship drunk, high, or sober and clean. Look at it this way while in your addiction it was often you against the world and you was happy alone in your addictions. So don’t start your sobriety feeling dependent upon others acceptance. It may have you kneeling to the devil that wants nothing but evil for your life. There is no way to tell if the person you are making a mends with truly wishes the best for you. So Jump Thru Darkness and the same way you stood strong and alone in your addictions. Stand strong and alone in your sobriety. Like a child that pulls themselves up to walk, you will smile like that child when you pull yourself up from your addictions. You were unstoppable while an addict, now become undeniable with your sobriety……JTD

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SOBRIETY (WHY DO WE DO IT)…..

To hold on to our sobriety we must always understand why we have to do it. It’s the one thing that we really think about everyday. The one emotion that even overpowers love. No person on earth can say the right words to stop us when we are in our addictions. Our addictions are the strongest emotions known to mankind. When we are drinking and drugging our feelings to fight against anyone or thing that tries to stop us becomes stronger than superman’s cape. So think about how strong the emotions are to get you to fall off the wagon. The struggle to stay sober and clean each and everyday can and often times is the hardest battle of our lives. Yet we all must Jump Thru Darkness and understand why we do it. We do it for all things left. We do it for all things right. We do it for all things up above. We do it for all things down below. We do it for ourselves cause we truly know we have further to go…….JTD

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For those who need to feel (Addictions) An unjust way to heal….

Empty is the heart of most addicts. Troubled is the mind of most addicts. Worn almost out is the body of most addicts. Abandoned is the love and relationships of most addicts. The need to feel happy is the goal of all addicts. Living normal only ends in arguments and sadness. But while in their addictions is the only time you really see them laughing. When sober it seems as if their lives are filled with their own jar of hopelessness. Sober to long and they will surely tell life they quit. A good job or marriage is not mentally blessed cause in an addicts mind drinking and smoking is the only thing next. Trying hard to be able to feel but being sober makes them face a life they don’t wanna live. For years all they ever had of happiness is from addictions they can control themselves. Even if the way to happiness they choice is unjust. They still do it because for them its the only happiness left. Family treats them like smallpox, kids treat them like dead folks, and preachers talk from a distance like addictions are contagious to the Godly throne. But an addicts answer is drinking and drugging to it all. To Jump Thru Darkness we most find away to happiness without drinking and drugging. Maybe we need to start from the being. Like get a coloring book and color a car and house into your addictive life. Color in friends and family into your addictive life. Then color in some happiness and when you finish coloring look at those pictures and how your soul wants the best for you. Then color your life in sobriety and Jump Thru Darkness and let your new colors on life lead your way…..JTD

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Addictions are not just for the lost…..

Seems even being an addict can make people treat you badly. Many associate being a addict with being lost in life. Some would say addicts are people who lost their way. Any job or career you can name has an addict working there. Some go unnoticed until the addiction devours them completely. Pride is sometime the evil that stops them from seeking help. Yes I am talking about all them but you know that also includes us. Us that are smart and educated. Us that are hard working and dedicated. Us that celebrate being better than others with smoking and drinking. Yes us who now needs to Jump Thru Darkness and understand just cause we the front line. Just cause we help teach young minds. Just cause we make the laws. Just cause we preach to them all. Just cause we addicts that didn’t fall. Does not mean addictions are just for the lost…..JTD

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FEELING IS HEALING

Jumping thru darkness is poetry, short stories, and spoken words about addictions to make you feel. An addict often times hide their feelings with their addictions. Many will abuse an addict by telling them all the things they do wrong. Many meet addicts with a stern look when they open the door. I heard many say things like that’s what they get for playing with GOD. Becoming more lethal to the addict than the drugs. Let’s not beat those whom have already decided to be beaten. Let’s help them instead to start their emotions to work and stop sleeping. Getting the feelings back inside their hearts with words that spark. Then showing them that in life they can live a better part. My focus is to whisper not to yell,to teach but not to preach, until their true feelings I reach. Then like the popping of hot grease on their arms i jump start their feelings again inside their hearts. Hoping to lead them away from addictions. While teaching them to JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand that feeling is healing. All while teaching them that saving them is the mission…..JTD

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Attacked By A Twelve Pack

I like to think I can stand up to anything I must face. I’ve won more fights than I have lost. But that day I was facing the twelve. The twelve that can make you feel helpless with your face in the toilet. The twelve that can leave you with a dui if you driving. The twelve that will have you outside your lover window crying. The twelve that doesn’t care if you find a bathroom when you need to go. The twelve that says you don’t need a bathroom just go in your clothes. I decided to Jump Thru Darkness and fight back against the twelve. But all that lead to is me becoming drunk as hell. When becoming sober and clean don’t forget about the attack of the twelve pack. Because if you don’t take your sobriety serious you might find yourself back in a fight with the pack….JTD

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The Darkness Of An Addicts Soul….

Darkness is a scare most people are afraid of all their lives. Yet two people walk down a dark valley and one is in fear and the other is excited. That’s because one has great eye sight and the other is blind. The blind person is excited about the trip, smelling and listening to all the new things. The person with the good sight is scared to close their eyes on the other hand. With every step one is smiling with excitement while the other is scared to tears while walking side by side. In this example the blind person is you while under your addictions. The scared person is your soul knowing that your addictions are bad for you. Now either you smarten up and make it past that dark valley or you keep walking to what most would call a sad end. So even if you can only open your blind eyes a little, let that be the very moment you start to Jump Thru Darkness and let your sobriety stop being scared and let your sober journey begin…….JTD

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Sobriety Lights…….

Sobriety is like putting up Christmas lights. When you ride around your neighborhood you may only see a few others with lights up. Many look at how good things look but won’t put up lights themselves. Much like sobriety not everyone has the skills, means or effort to put up their own lights without help. Lights of forgiveness for their addictions. Lights of clean living that shines once you become sober. Lights of understanding a daily battle. Seeing others put up a good effort to enjoy life should be motivation for most. Seeing others get clean should make you feel and want to get clean. Start standing out in your sobriety so other addicts can be guided by your sobriety lights. Helping others to Jump Thru Darkness and achieve Sobriety….

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What About You….Podcast

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Jumping Thru Darkness Podcast

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Darkest Part Of The Sobriety Valley…

Tears of unsettled hearts. Dreams of an unseen vengeful GOD. As the devil plays all the parts. All the voices are venom to the crowd. Allowing the darkness to consume every heart. Dancing with fate to find answers. Just to be sent on a mission by the devil. But if you fall for the darkness, you will fall until the end. Like pedals falling off a rose wishing it would rain. Your imagination has become the devils new creation. But don’t let your own evil make you feel that you can’t reach sobriety. Cause sobriety is light in the darkness. Pain and sadness will cover your eyes. The darkness loves to blind. A fight with yourself that takes you from behind. Never making sense of what’s in your mind. Like jumping into a empty car with no gas. But a destination without sobriety has no end. So Jump Thru Darkness and find peace and direction through sobriety my friend….JTD

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Protect Your Sobriety Always

Okay picture the night scene in your head. It’s cold and you are using alcohol to stay warm. You started using alcohol to stay warm during college or even sooner when you got kicked out of the house and had nowhere to go. You are in a room any room will do because it all ends the same way. No matter if it’s a dorm room, friend’s room or your childhood bedroom. You have a bottle in your hand and drinking it like a engine drinks gas. Funny cause you drink like a older model car that smokes. Your favorite song is playing on the radio. The name of this song is Drunk forever by this dude named Kevin. The door opens and someone starts talking. You quickly point a finger and the bottle and say leave me alone. At that moment you start doing the two step around the room. You hear the person is saying something but as you dance all you hear is nothing. You say to them didn’t I tell you to leave me alone. They walk out and slam the door. For a brief moment you start to Jump Thru Darkness and wanna reach for the door behind them. But your bottle calls you to finish what you started there. So you turn the music louder and dance some more alone in the room. At that point do you really care about anything? Is it really alcohol to blame even when you are not harming anything. It ain’t easy living through drunk days. So when you get sober protect your sobriety always…..JTD

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Don’t Just Hear,Finally Listen

The fight for sobriety can be a tough one. Sitting in meetings thinking about all the other things you could be doing besides a meeting. Hating every story others tell. Looking at some of them like you shouldn’t be in a meeting you should be in jail. Feeling bad for yourself but Jesus got us all beat. He was tortured and nailed to a cross, while we cry and moan over an alcoholic defeat. While in our addictions we are told we are loved, but like rain bouncing off a coat we brush all emotions off. While Jumping Thru Darkness don’t just hear the words we love you from your family, husband ,wife or children. Nope try to fight a good fight and when they tell you they love you finally listen……JTD

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Empty Bottle Empty Life

Life of an addict can be very simple. The life of any addict can be summed up as Empty bottle Empty life. To any addict their addiction is the main thing they life for. Nope their lover is just as important as a gift they was given. A gift they can’t give away and they only keep them around cause it was a gift. That’s love to an addict. If that lover says they leaving and starts to walk out the door. The addict says with every emotional realness go ahead and go. But if the addicts bottle becomes empty and they don’t have money for more. They be laying down crying on the floor. Cause in an addicts mind a empty bottle feels as if their life is gone. More important than any husband or wife. To an addict an Empty Bottle Means A Empty Life…JTD

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Alone in a room….

Addictions will have you alone in a room can you make it out…..

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One fight against addictions video

Give sobriety a shot…….

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Care about your sobriety…

Even when you feel no one cares that’s when you should..

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Earning your life back. Click for video….

Get clean and stay clean….

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Click for video

Addictions can drown you………..

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SWIM

I was in a southern state inside an down south city, that smelled like a down south city with the temperature to match. You know the type of city that you don’t notice when night comes cause it’s so dirty. The type of city that you can drink 24 hours of the day missing sunrise and sunset cause everything just seems motionless. Where the cops just lean against a wall, and you tell them to chase you and they say, man go head on its too hot for that. The type of heat that your parents say i’m beat you when it get cold type of hot. Well one evening or morning honestly I can’t remember what time it was I was very much buzzed off liquor. Anyway walking back to my rented room I had to cross a bridge that crossed the river. As I got closer to the bridge something said,”swim”. Now I never walked without a beer. I sipped the drink and took another step forward. The wind blew me down and I rolled since the bridge was on a hill. I landed at the bottom. As I stood up all I could see in front of me was the water. I looked up the hill to the bridge and at that moment I heard, ” just swim across its quicker”. I walked to the edge of the water and its seemed as if the water was reaching for me. The waves reached further and further towards my shoes. I stood there for about 30 minutes sipping my drink thinking about swimming across. Wondering if it was a test from the God’s. I didn’t plan on failing any test from the God’s after all even to be hired as a janitor in heaven is better than earth’s hell. But at that moment I noticed something. I noticed I was out of drink. I can’t swim across empty handed I told myself. So I climbed up the hill, crossed the bridge and entered the nearest store. I left the store with something new to drink. I looked back at the bridge and finally Jumped Thru Darkness and said hell i’m almost home now and kept walking forward. As I walked away from the bridge I could still hear the words in the wind, ” come back for a swimmmmm”.

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Pain, Sadness, Guilt and Time (P.S.G.T)

If you are having problems staying clean and sober. Look to the water of the nearest river,lake or ocean. Just think you started to sober up and wondered how you ended up in the middle of that water about to drown. As your mind gets clearer you decide to fight for your life. Meaning you go swim like no swimmer has ever swam before. But you are then attacked by ( P.S.G.T). First you are grabbed by the legs with pain. The pain that made you get high. The pain that made you get drunk. So you start to swim a little slower. Next a storm of sadness covers the sky. You start remembering your lover leaving you. You start remembering all your friends that passed away. So you begin to swim even slower. At that point the fins of guilt surround you. You still try to swim but your own self induced guilt tries to stop you in place. Finally the huge waves of time passing while you barely swim takes it toll and you almost drown. As you wait in the water for someone to show up walking you have to Jump Thru Darkness and just think. Guilt is a two way street. Your addictions made you do things but those that condemn you aren’t addicts just pure evil. So start back swimming. Yes pain is there but pain is apart of life. So reach them arms out and swim a little more. Of course, sadness can make a home fall but sadness can be beaten with a simple smile. As for time well its a two edged thing. Because if you Jump Thru Darkness you will notice over time you stopped swimming and started walking and winning your life back…..JTD
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Filling Yourself With Something New…..

All addictions seem to fill us with things that meet the moment. Meaning your addiction makes you tough when you need to be tough. Your addiction makes you crafty when you need to make a cup or something to smoke with. It surely makes it easy to tell a story to get you out of a jam. But over the years you are filled with the emotions from your addictions. The you that was inside drowned over the years in your addictions. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and start your sobriety walk, you will notice the feeling of nothing! You might find yourself trying to balance to walk like a toddler. All old things like people and relationships will sound like bees buzzing and never shuts up. Every moment you find yourself saying ” they don’t know me like that”. If you look in the mirror at that same time even if you are clean you will see the face and red eyes of an addict. Something that worked for me is finding a moment to yourself to heal your mind and soul. Every now and then turn off the phone and Turn off the television. Find you a cook book and a old song your grandma would play. Then remember sitting in the kitchen eating those homemade biscuits. Rebuild your feelings from a special moment. Disregard the feelings that hurt and made you feel needy. Cause feeling needy leads to feeling lonely, and feeling lonely makes you want to party. Party leads to addictions…etc. So find a new routine and remember the good soul moments of your life and Jump Thru Darkness and get in that kitchen and make you a new meal to feel your new sobriety with….JTD

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Sobriety Is Often Solo

When you start to Jump Thru Darkness. It can make you feel like mending old relationships. No matter how clean you may become nothing can mend if the other side still have addictions in their lives. All you can do is demand respect from others for the new person you have become. If they refuse to respect the new image and dedication you have for your sobriety. No matter how much it hurts or how close you are to the person. Make your sobriety your shield. Those people will never change and the only thing that would happen is you would fall off the wagon. So like a champion remember there is only one belt in sobriety and you are the one wearing it. You did the steps for you, you changed for you, you won for you…..So Jump Thru Darkness and don’t lose for them!!!!!

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REVISITING KIM

I REMEMBER KIM SAYING TO ME. YES I USE MEN FOR THEIR MONEY. YES MEN USE ME FOR MY BODY BUT THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MIND. SO IN BOOK ONE I TELL YOU HOW I HAD JUST ARRIVED IN HER CITY BY BUS AND SHE WAS WORKING THE SIDEWALK. SHE WAS A VERY GOOD WORKER. SHE HAD NO COMPLAINTS BY ANYONE. I ARRIVED LATE TOO LATE TO RENT A ROOM OR GO TO THE SHELTER. SHE WALKED OVER TO ME AND TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT YOU CAN READ IT IN BOOK ONE. SHE LET ME STAY IN HER HOTEL ROOM FOR THE NIGHT AS LONG AS I WATCHED HER BABY THAT SHE HAD LEFT ALONE TO MAKE MONEY. SO YEARS LATER I RETURNED AND FOUND KIM THE MANAGER OF THAT SAME BUS STATION ( SHE WORKED AND SOLD HER BODY ALL THE WAY TO THE TOP ). THAT WAS YEARS AGO, A FEW DAYS AGO KIM FOUND ME ON SOCIAL MEDIA AND TOLD ME TO TELL YOU GUYS THIS, KIM SAID ” LISTEN PEOPLE I KNOW I DID SOME SAD AND UNLADY LIKE THINGS BUT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND I WAS DOING EVERYTHING I DID FOR ME AND MY CHILD. PEOPLE ALWAYS ASSUME YOU OF BEING A BAD PERSON BECAUSE YOU DO THINGS OTHERS FROWN DOWN ON. THEN SHE SAID THEM SAME PEOPLE DIDN’T LEND A HAND. THEN SAME PEOPLE DIDN’T FEED MY CHILD. THEM SAME PEOPLE WALKED BY WHEN I WAS IN THE STREETS WORKING AND INSTEAD OF HELPING ALL THEY DID IS RUN THEY MOUTHS OR DO BUSINESS WITH ME. FUNNY THEY DON’T TALK WHEN THEY GETTING THEY FREAK ON. NOW I’M THE DISTRICT MANAGER WITH A HUSBAND AND FOUR KIDS. I’M THE BOSS OF MY OWN LIFE. YES THEY STILL TALK ABOUT ME AND WHAT I USE TO DO BUT I JUMPED THROUGH DARKNESS AND SAID TO MYSELF, EVERYDAY IS MY WAY LIFE GAVE ME SOMETHING. WHAT ABOUT YOU…..I TOLD KIM I WAS PROUD OF HER. SHE THEN TOLD ME WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE THINGS WE DID WHILE WE WERE TOGETHER. I TOLD HER NO WE DON’T. I TOLD HER I REMEMBER THEM NIGHTS VERY, VERY WELL. THEN I TOLD HER SOME FIRES YOU LET DIE. YES A FIRE THAT BURNED LIKE OURS WAS GREAT THEN BUT WE MAY JUST GET BURNED NOW. IT’S ALL ABOUT THE HEART VS THE MIND AND WE BOTH KNOW OR MINDS WOULD WANT OUR HEARTS TO RELIVE THOSE NIGHTS BUT WE KNOW IT WOULDN’T END RIGHT. I THEN SAID YES IT WAS GOOD THEN AND BLEW OUR MINDS BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN WE SHOULD PRESS REWIND. WE ARE JUMPING THROUGH DARKNESS FOR A BETTER FUTURE NOT TO RELIVE THE PAST. SHE SAID WHATEVER I’M BE IN TOWN THIS WEEKEND WRITE MY ROOM NUMBER DOWN……..SOME THINGS NEVER CHANGE BUT AT LEAST SHE HAD A PLAN. SOME PEOPLE DO THE SAME THING AND TRY TO SLEEP THEIR WAY TO THE TOP. ONLY THING IS THEY NEED TO JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS AND OPEN THEIR EYES TO THE FACT THAT FIRST YOU NEED A JOB. MANY SLEEP THEY WAY TO THE TOP OF AN IMAGINARY JOB. LEAVING THEMSELVES WITH BROKEN HOPES AND DREAMS. SO WHATEVER YOU DO IN LIFE MAKE IT COUNT…..JTD

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IF YOU DON’T YOU WON’T

IF YOU DON’T THINK IT. YOU WON’T DRINK IT. IF YOU DON’T HOLD ONE. YOU WON’T HAVE ONE. IF YOU DON’T BUY NONE. YOU WON’T NEED NONE. JUST HAVE SOME CLEAN FUN. IF YOU NEED HERE’S A JTD TRICK THAT YOU CAN USE. GET YOU SOME KOOL AID SINGLES AND PUT THEM IN YOUR POCKET OR PURSE. RED IS THE BEST COLOR AND I’M TELL YOU WHY. IF AT A CLUB AND YOU FIGHTING NOT TO DRINK. ASK FOR A GLASS OF WATER. THEN MIX IN THE KOOL AID. DON’T DO IT IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMILY OR FRIENDS CAUSE THEY WILL KNOCK IT OUT YOUR HAND. NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU WILL BE DRUNK AGAIN. NOPE DO IT SO NO ONE SEE’S THEN AS YOU WALK UP TO THEM, IF THEY ASK YOU TELL THEM ITS A MIXED DRINK. TRUST ME NO ONE WILL HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY. BUT IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF KOOL AID AND THIRSTY THEY WILL SAY WOW YOU CAN DRINK. BUT NEVERTHELESS YOU WILL BE JUMPING THROUGH DARKNESS AND HAVE FUN WITH YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS WITH YOUR KOOL AID SUPPOSE TO BE LIQUOR DRINK. SO REMEMBER IF YOU DON’T WANT TO DRINK YOU WON’T…….JTD  

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I WAS THE MAN

I WAS THE MAN WHEN I WAS DRINKING AND DRUGGING EVERY NIGHT. WASN’T I THE MAN WHEN I HELPED YOU FIGHT. I KNOW I WAS THE MAN WHEN SHE LET ME STAY OVER EVERY NIGHT. BUT WAS I THE MAN WHEN THE JUDGE SAID 10, 20, TWO LIFE. DID THE TEARS FROM MY EYES MAKE ME LESS THAN A MAN FOR THE CRIMES. BUT IN MY MIND AS I STOOD THERE I COULD STILL SMILE CAUSE I KNEW SOMEBODY WAS STILL CALLING ME THE MAN SOMEWHERE. DIDN’T I JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS AND STEAL A METER WHEN YOUR LIGHTS GOT TURNED OFF. DIDN’T I JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS WHEN I CALLED THE MANAGER AT THAT THERE RESTAURANT AND SAID MY ORDER WAS MESSED UP. EVEN WHEN I DIDN’T BUY FOOD BECAUSE I NEEDED TO FEED YOU. I KNOW I WAS THE MAN WHEN I SHOWED UP TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU AND YOUR SISTER WAS BOTH HAVING MY KIDS. I MEAN EVEN AS THEY TAKE ME TO DO MY TIME.  I WAS THE MAN WASN’T I ???……JTD

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FIGHTING THE DARKNESS

MANY OF YOU ARE SURROUNDED BY FAMILY AND FRIENDS. YOU TRY TO FIGHT FOR WHATS RIGHT. YOU TELL THEM TO STOP DRINKING AND SMOKING. YOU HAVE GIVEN EVERYTHING YOU HAVE INSIDE TO SAVE THE ONES YOU LOVE. I SEE YOU STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DARKNESS WITH A LIGHT THAT’S TRYING TO DO WHATS RIGHT. EVERY NOW AND THEN I SEE YOUR LIGHT GO OFF AND ON AGAIN. YOU WANT TO GIVE UP BECAUSE NO ONE LISTENS. BUT YOU JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS AND KEEP STEPPING. WHEN FIGHTING THE DARKNESS OFTEN TIMES YOU WILL FEEL LIKE THE LAST OF GODS ARMY FIGHTING ALONE. BUT YOU MUST STAY STRONG. GO A LITTLE CRAZY IF YOU HAVE TOO. BUT WHAT EVER YOU DO DON’T LET THE DARKNESS CONSUME YOU. NO MATTER IF IT IS ALCOHOLISM, DRUGS, OR TRYING TO GET YOUR TEENS TO LIVE RIGHT FOR OUR COUNTRY. IT IS STILL YOUR JOB TO ALWAYS FIGHT AGAINST THE DARKNESS…….JTD

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Beware Of Empty Hearts (Heart vs Mind)

WHILE JUMPING THROUGH DARKNESS WITH ADDICTION AND THE MENTAL BATTLES, YOU ALSO HAVE TO DEAL WITH AFFAIRS OF THE HEART. HERE’S A SHOT OF TRUTH. IF YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE TO A MAN. A MAN WILL TAKE IT. IF YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE TO A WOMAN. A WOMAN WILL TAKE IT. YOU NEVER REALLY GET TO LOVE WHO YOU REALLY WANT TO LOVE. YOU OFTEN FIND YOURSELF DATING WHO’S SINGLE. WHEN YOU YOUNG YOU DATE FOR LOOKS. AS YOU GET OLDER YOU DATE FOR MONEY. WHEN YOU GET TIRED OF ALL THE DIFFERENT RELATIONSHIPS YOU DATE FOR LOVE AND COMPANIONSHIP. SAD THING IS BY THEN A QUICK ONE DOES THE JOB AND YOU COULD CARE LESS. WHEN YOU DO TRY MOST OF THE TIME YOU TRY LOVING PEOPLE WITH EMPTY HEARTS. LOVING A PERSON WITH AN EMPTY HEART IS LIKE LIVING IN A HOUSE WITH NO FURNITURE. AFTER AWHILE THE HAPPINESS OF BEING IN THE HOUSE IS REPLACED WITH THE SADNESS OF NOTHING IS INSIDE THE HOUSE. SOME WOULD RATHER BE IN A ROOM FILLED WITH FURNITURE THAN TO BE IN A HOUSE WITH NOTHING BUT WALLS. NO MATTER WHO OR WHAT YOU LOVE. JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND MAKE SURE THE HEART YOU LOVE ISN’T EMPTY. BECAUSE YOU WILL SPEND YOUR DAYS LOVING IT UNTIL YOUR HEART IS EMPTY. LEAVING YOU LOVELESS AND HOPELESS AS THE PERSON MOVES ON TO THE NEXT ONE LIKE A EMPTY HOUSE BEING RENTED OUT……..JTD

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WRONG CANT STAND RIGHT

IT WILL BE TIMES WHEN YOUR WRONGS WON’T STAND YOUR RIGHTS. IF YOU A TEACHER WRONG WILL HATE WHEN YOU RIGHT. IF YOU A PREACHER WRONG HATES YOUR WHOLE LIFE. IF YOU A STUDENT AND AT SCHOOL EVERYDAY AND EVEN STUDY EVERY NIGHT. WRONG WILL LOOK YOU IN THE EYE AND HATE THE RIGHTNESS OF YOUR SHADOW AND LIFE. IF YOU A THUG AND DECIDE NOT TO FIGHT. YOU WILL NOTICE THAT BEING RIGHT IS A WHOLE DIFFERENT FIGHT. IF YOU A PARENT WRONG CAN’T WAIT TO SAY YOU ARE NOT PARENTING RIGHT. LETS JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS AND BREAK DAYLIGHT. CAUSE WRONG WILL NEVER RESPECT RIGHT. SO KEEP DOING YOUR THING AND LIVE EVERYDAY FOR THE RIGHT.

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Lactose And Tolerant

To jump through darkness I teach you many methods. One of my latest is called LACTOSE AND TOLERANT. You begin by noticing all the people in your life that are lacking (lac).  You must then find a way to rid yourself of such people in your life.  Never let anyone plan a trip for your life when they don’t have a destination for their own. Once you get rid of all the lacking people in your life you then give them a toast (TOSE) goodbye. Understand that life will still have its share of twists and turns. So learn to tolerate such things until you become tolerant to all things. Becoming tolerant to all things will make it harder for you to fall for anything. Becoming tolerant will allow you to endure all things of this world better than most helping you to easily always JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS. So today start JUMPING THROUGH DARKNESS by becoming LACTOSE AND TOLERANT….

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IT’S RAINING

IT’S RAINING. AS YOU LOOK AROUND AND WONDER WHY I SAY IT’S RAINING WHEN YOU NOT WET. YOU DON’T EVEN SEE A CLOUD IN THE SKY. BUT IT’S RAINING ON YOUR LIFE. YOU WENT FROM A CHILD OF THE CHURCH TO LOVING TO CURSE. MOST WOMAN HAVE WENT FROM BEING THE BETTER HALF TO BECOMING THE MAN. MOST MEN WOULD RATHER GIVE BIRTH IF THEY CAN AND CALL THEMSELVES WOMEN. IF YOU JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS YOU WILL NOTICE THAT IT’S RAINING. KIDS OF KIDS HAVE THE ANGER OF THE HURT OF LIFE. NO CHOICE THEY MAKE EVER SEEMS TO BE RIGHT. NO MATTER WHAT ROAD YOU GO DOWN. IT LEAVES YOU WITH A FROWN. YOU DON’T EVEN GET KICKED WHEN YOU ARE DOWN BECAUSE YOUR LIFE SEEMS LOWER THAN THE GROUND. DRINKS AND DRUGS SOMETIMES TAKE AWAY THE PAIN. ALL WHILE LEAVING YOU LIVING A LIFE OF SHAME. WAIT THERE IT IS. RAIN! DO YOU FEEL IT NOW. MAYBE YOU FAKE FEELING IT WITH SMILES. BE CAREFUL TO IGNORE IT CAUSE YOU MIGHT DROWN. LET THE WORDS OF JUMPING THROUGH DARKNESS BE YOUR UMBRELLA IN LIFE. TAKE EVERY WET DAY IN STRIDE. AND WHEN THE ANGELS OF YOUR SOUL START JOYFUL SINGING. REMEMBER THAT IT’S STILL RAINING….JTD 

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BATHROOM

SEE WHAT HAPPENED WAS…….I ARRIVED HOME FROM THE CLUB DRUNK. I LIVED ALONE SO YOU KNOW NO ONE WAS THERE. SO WHY WAS I LOOKING AROUND LIKE SOMEONE SHOULD BRING ME SOME FOOD. ANYWAY I WAS DRUNK AND NEEDED A BATH. SO I TOOK OFF MY CLOTHES IN THE LIVING ROOM AND HEADED TO THE BATHROOM. PICKING UP HALF DRUNKEN BEER ALONE THE WAY. IT TOOK ME ANOTHER HOUR TO GET TO THE BATHROOM BECAUSE OF THE MUSIC AND DRINKS. FINALLY DRUNKER AND FEELING GREAT I MADE IT. I WENT IN AND LOCKED THE DOOR. LIKE SOMEONE WAS WITH ME. BUT TRUTH IS I DIDN’T TRUST THE WALLS PAINT WHEN I DRINK. IN THE SHOWER I WENT AND GOT CLEAN. STEPPED OUT AND STARTED TO OPEN THE DOOR. IT WOULDN’T OPEN. I TWISTED IT AGAIN AND IT WOULDN’T OPEN. I PUT ON A TOWEL AND LAID DOWN IN THE TUB. I LAID MY DRUNK HEAD TO THE SIDE WONDERING HOW COULD SOMEONE HELP ME UNLOCK THE DOOR. WHEN I BECAME SOBER I JUMPED THROUGH DARKNESS AND NOTICED THE RUG ON THE FLOOR WAS BLOCKING THE DOOR. YOU WOULD THINK I WOULD HAVE QUICKLY LEFT THE ROOM. NOPE I JUST SAT THERE WITH A HANGOVER FOR AWHILE IN THE BATHROOM…..

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Staying The Course PT.1

HE WAS THIRTY-EIGHT HOT. HE WAS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF A DARK ROOM. WE LIVED IN A BOARDING HOUSE. AS I WALKED THE HALL GOING TO THE BATHROOM TO TAKE A BATH I PASSED HIS ROOM. THE DOOR WAS OPEN BUT IT WAS DARK. ALL I COULD SEE IS THE LIGHT FROM HIS WEED. THEN I HEARD HEY OVERSEER MAN CAN I TALK TO YOU. HE SAID MAN JUST LISTEN OKAY. I LEANED ON THE OPENING OF THE DOOR AND SAID WHATS GOOD. THEN HE ROCKED ME WITH THESE WORDS. HE SAID MAN YOU KNOW THAT WOMAN I’M DATING WELL HER DAUGHTER PREGNANT FROM ME. HE THEN SAID MAN I’M SO IN LOVE WITH HER DAUGHTER I WATCH HER TWERKING VIDEOS WHILE HAVING SEX WITH HER MOM. I EVEN SHOOT HER BOYFRIEND DEAD. OVERSEER I’M IN LOVE MAN. AT HER PROM I PICKED HER UP OUTSIDE THE DANCE AND TOOK HER TO THE MOTEL. SHE HAD ME SCREAMING DAMN,DAMN,DAMN. SHE IS NOW HEADING TO COLLEGE AND NEED MONEY. SO I JUST ROBBED OUR LANDLORD. THIS HIM LAYING OVER HERE BESIDE MY BED. OVERSEER DO YOU THINK I CAN STILL JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS. BEFORE I COULD SAY A WORD THE LAW WAS AT THE DOWNSTAIRS DOOR. I WALKED DOWNSTAIRS AND OPENED THE DOOR. AS THEY WERE CHECKING ALL THE OTHER ROOMS I WALKED BACK TO HIS ROOM. AS MY EYES COULD SEE FULL VIEW OF THE ROOM I NOTICED THE WINDOW WAS BROKEN. HE HAD JUMPED FROM THE WINDOW. NOW WE WAS ON THE SIXTH FLOOR BUT FOR SOME REASON HE STILL FELT HE COULD JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS. I WALKED FURTHER DOWN THE HALL AND THE LAW ASKED WHERE ARE YOU GOING. I SAID I DON’T KNOW ABOUT HIM BUT I’M STAYING ON COURSE AND TAKING MY BATH…..JTD

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STAYING ON COURSE PT.2

ONE WOULD THINK JUMPING OUT A SIXTH FLOOR WINDOW WOULD KILL THE NORMAL PERSON. BUT THIS DUDE TRULY HAD JUMPED THROUGH DARKNESS AND SURVIVED. WHILE WORKING AT A HALFWAY HOUSE THREE YEARS LATER I RAN INTO HIM AGAIN. AS MY EYES LOOKED UPON HIM I COULD TELL SLEEPING AROUND WAS A THING OF THE PAST FOR HIM. AS I WALKED UP TO HIS WHEELCHAIR I ASKED, HOW ARE YOU FREE. HE SAID I TOLD THEM IT WASN’T ME. I LAUGHED THEN ASKED HOW YOU FEEL. HE SAID OVERSEER MAN I’M STILL IN LOVE WITH THAT DAMN GIRL. HE SAID I WISH I KNEW WHAT SCHOOL SHE WENT TO I WOULD ROLL MY CHAIR ALL THE WAY THERE. HE THEN SAID SHE CALLED HIM ONCE AND SAID SORRY DADDY BUT YOU CAN’T PUT IT DOWN LIKE YOU USE TOO SO I’M GONE. HE THEN ASKED SO OVERSEER DID I JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS. I SAID I CAN’T REALLY SAY YES BUT YOU DID CHANGE YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU JUMPED OUT THAT WINDOW SO. I THEN TOLD HIM I WAS TIRED FROM WORK AND WAS HEADED HOME TO TAKE A BATH. ….JTD

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HOLDING ON PT 1 ITS NOT EASY

IT’S NOT EASY TO TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK. AFTER ALL DRINKING HIDES SOME PAIN IN TIMES WHEN YOU HAVE NO ONE EVEN FRIENDS. A DRINK CAN TURN YOUR SAD DAY INTO A DAY YOU CAN LIVE. YOU DO WAKE UP THE NEXT DAY SAYING TO YOURSELF I CAN’T BELIEVE I DID THAT. PEEPING OUT YOUR WINDOW WONDERING IF ANYONE NOTICED YOU. OR MAYBE THEY HEARD THE WORDS OF A HATEFUL DRUNK ACTING A FOOL. YET THAT DRUNK LEFT WHEN YOU WOKE UP. NOW YOU LEFT TRYING TO FIX PROBLEMS THE DRUNK INSIDE YOU CREATED. THE DRUNK INSIDE YOU HAS NO FAVORITES. JUST THE LABEL ON THE BOTTLE AND ITS FLAVOR. BUT YOU MUST JUMP THROUGH DARKNESS AND HOLD ON BECAUSE AFTER THE DRINKING THE MENTAL BATTLE STARTS…..JTD

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Find A Way…

Find a way black friend, black friend. Punching right while kicking left is the way of man. No one feels sorry for the broken or needful. Keeping an eye on racist creatures while ducking bullets from your own people. Trying to find the best color to love while dealing with hate from your own. Water is dry when it’s compared to a black man’s tears. Only a shadow in the dark can mention his fears. Running to a missing father while leaving behind his own children. Becoming a man without supervision. As a child says daddy come back home in their whispers. A drug and a drink to help him think. Never feeling that his addictions are making him sink. Black man,black man you can solve any problem. But when it comes to your addictions you have no answer. Black man, black man don’t just read this. Black man, black man JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand this. If you not a black man and yet you still reading this. When I say black man I mean all men that’s fighting for something. That’s making a way out of nothing. So in the end we’ll feel like our lives meant something. Not to impress others but to feel like we didn’t live our lives in vain. While fighting our addictions with pride instead of living in shame. Black man, black man find a way…..JTD