Addictions will have you alone in a room can you make it out…..
Give sobriety a shot…….
Even when you feel no one cares that’s when you should..
Get clean and stay clean….
Addictions can drown you………..
I was in a southern state inside an down south city, that smelled like a down south city with the temperature to match. You know the type of city that you don’t notice when night comes cause it’s so dirty. The type of city that you can drink 24 hours of the day missing sunrise and sunset cause everything just seems motionless. Where the cops just lean against a wall, and you tell them to chase you and they say, man go head on its too hot for that. The type of heat that your parents say i’m beat you when it get cold type of hot. Well one evening or morning honestly I can’t remember what time it was I was very much buzzed off liquor. Anyway walking back to my rented room I had to cross a bridge that crossed the river. As I got closer to the bridge something said,”swim”. Now I never walked without a beer. I sipped the drink and took another step forward. The wind blew me down and I rolled since the bridge was on a hill. I landed at the bottom. As I stood up all I could see in front of me was the water. I looked up the hill to the bridge and at that moment I heard, ” just swim across its quicker”. I walked to the edge of the water and its seemed as if the water was reaching for me. The waves reached further and further towards my shoes. I stood there for about 30 minutes sipping my drink thinking about swimming across. Wondering if it was a test from the God’s. I didn’t plan on failing any test from the God’s after all even to be hired as a janitor in heaven is better than earth’s hell. But at that moment I noticed something. I noticed I was out of drink. I can’t swim across empty handed I told myself. So I climbed up the hill, crossed the bridge and entered the nearest store. I left the store with something new to drink. I looked back at the bridge and finally Jumped Thru Darkness and said hell i’m almost home now and kept walking forward. As I walked away from the bridge I could still hear the words in the wind, ” come back for a swimmmmm”.
All addictions seem to fill us with things that meet the moment. Meaning your addiction makes you tough when you need to be tough. Your addiction makes you crafty when you need to make a cup or something to smoke with. It surely makes it easy to tell a story to get you out of a jam. But over the years you are filled with the emotions from your addictions. The you that was inside drowned over the years in your addictions. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and start your sobriety walk, you will notice the feeling of nothing! You might find yourself trying to balance to walk like a toddler. All old things like people and relationships will sound like bees buzzing and never shuts up. Every moment you find yourself saying ” they don’t know me like that”. If you look in the mirror at that same time even if you are clean you will see the face and red eyes of an addict. Something that worked for me is finding a moment to yourself to heal your mind and soul. Every now and then turn off the phone and Turn off the television. Find you a cook book and a old song your grandma would play. Then remember sitting in the kitchen eating those homemade biscuits. Rebuild your feelings from a special moment. Disregard the feelings that hurt and made you feel needy. Cause feeling needy leads to feeling lonely, and feeling lonely makes you want to party. Party leads to addictions…etc. So find a new routine and remember the good soul moments of your life and Jump Thru Darkness and get in that kitchen and make you a new meal to feel your new sobriety with….JTD
When you start to Jump Thru Darkness. It can make you feel like mending old relationships. No matter how clean you may become nothing can mend if the other side still have addictions in their lives. All you can do is demand respect from others for the new person you have become. If they refuse to respect the new image and dedication you have for your sobriety. No matter how much it hurts or how close you are to the person. Make your sobriety your shield. Those people will never change and the only thing that would happen is you would fall off the wagon. So like a champion remember there is only one belt in sobriety and you are the one wearing it. You did the steps for you, you changed for you, you won for you…..So Jump Thru Darkness and don’t lose for them!!!!!
The hardest day ever was the day when I laid my walk-man on the dresser and walked outside without it. As I walked it seemed as if I was in a new world. I lived by those words in them songs. Some songs seem as if they were about me and some wasn’t. But in real life that music wasn’t for me. I was smart not a lame. I could make my own history not just copy words from a song just to pretend. Then I saw a car driving fast with them boys giving chase. The song they was playing was good. But it didn’t help when the telephone pole attacked the cars hood. They jumped out running leaving the car and the song behind. I bopped my head to the song as I walked by. Then the boys caught them man dudes couldn’t even rhyme. Now living a life in another persons song got them doing time. I guess they should have left them ghetto songs along. Cause not even the singers of those songs last to long. Then drugs and drinking can make you feel like you the star of it all when you hear the sound. When in reality you’re nothing but another crackhead or drunk looking and acting like a clown. So jump thru darkness and start a new before the drugs, drinking and song turn into the blues. So when you do decide to get clean remember that means all the drug, gangster, and hood trap music too…….JTD
You learned the streets can be hell. Me well I learned drugs and alcohol can create hell. We learned it’s easier when you get into trouble as a kid but quickly found out that’s different when you become a man. You learned to watch when someone else is rolling the blunt. Me I learned from watching you not to smoke blunts. We learned that sometimes who is doing the smoking doesn’t matter when you get pulled over. You learned a new number to post bail. Me I learned you told the cop it was both of our weed. We learned nobody wants to fall alone in the game. You learned your strikes was at three. Me I didn’t look back when I became free. Then like a hungry man saving a cows life. I JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and bailed you out. You, me, and we both knew why. Cause if we acted like friends neither one of us would have gotten out. So YOU, ME, AND WE make the two sides to every street….JTD
Let’s prepare ourselves for the journey and arousal of the new year. You went down alcoholic road and faced a mental battle in the end. As you began to JUMP THRU DARKNESS in the last years you felt you could win. Yet the addiction demons are stronger and some even have friends. You can’t really want something to smoke without a drink in hand. Remember that when you JUMPED THRU DARKNESS you became a new person my friend. Yet always remember the tiny warning at the bottom of your sobriety. It says even after you change for the better your addictions just get stronger and clever. So no matter what your face may look like after you earn your sobriety. JUMP THRU DARKNESS and keep riding. The darkness of addictions has many forms. So in this new year PRAY, STAY FOCUSED, AND MOST OF ALL LEAVE THE DRINKS AND DRUGS ALONE AND KEEP JUMPING THRU DARKNESS………JTD
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!
What if the key to GOD’S love was within you. Meaning learning to love unconditionally will make GOD love you unconditionally. Loving someone no matter their sickness. Loving somebody no matter their sin. Loving somebody no matter their addictions. Loving somebody no matter their afflictions. If that’s the case no wonder heaven will seem empty with only a few hundred thousand. And the golden city will be for those who just barely in the nick of time learn how to truly love before they die. Addictions can make it hard to hold and love someone. Yet you must JUMP THRU DARKNESS and truly love with your heart and not your feelings and mind. The heart can’t see only you can. The heart can’t touch or feel only you can. The heart knows only to love or hurt and love is the way to win. Try closing your eyes with your better half and see if you can go one hour without looking at them. Only using your heart and listening to their words of love. Will fear make you open your eyes? Will the lack of trust have you peeping from one eye? Or will you feel your heart smile knowing you JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and tried loving for awhile…….JTD
Kaptain the old folks and kids on south deck have been assimilated using molly and weed. The crews on the west deck have been assimilated with powder and gin. The workers on the east and north decks have all been assimilated using liquor and crack. And Kaptain it seems a total loss on the midwest decks….Number three plant a course to the JUMPING THRU DARKNESS system. Sir what will we do there. We shall take the fight to the Borg. TO BE CONTINUED…..JTD
You went looking for Monday but found Tuesday.
When Wednesday came you thought it was an
illusion. Thursday tried to wake you up. But Friday
took you back under. Saturday was filled with
head and stomach aches but you didn’t worry.
Cause you knew you would sleep all Sunday so you
could look for Monday…… ADDICTIONS ( JTD)
OUR EYES ARE STILL WATCHING FOR GOD. THE DARKNESS OF THIS EARTH NOW WILL MAKE MULES AND MEN CRY. WHEN WE JUMP THRU DARKNESS WE TELL OUR HORSES NOT TO LEAVE DUST TRACKS ON THE ROAD. SO THE DEVIL WON’T KNOW WE GONE. IF THE DARKNESS EVER CATCHES EVERY TONGUE WILL GO TO CONFESSING. SO WE RIDE AND JUMP THRU DARKNESS WITH THE LESSONS YOU PUT IN WORDS. I’M JUST HOPING I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HEARD. YOU SAID MOSES WAS A MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN. I’M TRYING TO CLIMB IT TO IN THE DARKNESS. BUT I AIN’T NO SERAPH ON THE SUWANEE. I DO WHAT I MUST TO TAKE CARE ME. I DON’T LISTEN TO LIES AND OTHER TALL TALES. CAUSE NONE OF THAT MATTERS WHEN YOU LIVING A LIFE IN LETTERS. I HEARD SOMEONE SAY GO MUDDY THE WATER. I FELT I MUST BE CLEVER. NEVERTHELESS WITH EVERY WORD YOU WROTE IT ADDS MORE BEATS TO MY HEART. YOU WAS LAID TO REST AMONGST THE PEOPLE YOU LOVED. BUT YOUR WISDOM STILL LIVES ON. AS WE JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND DO OUR PART. WITH OUR EYES STILL WATCHING GOD……..JTD
ADDICTIONS ARE LIKE RIVERS WITH NO CROSSINGS. YOU CAN STAND ON THE EDGE AND SEE THE BRIDGE. YOU CAN WATCH PEOPLE DRIVE AND WALK BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THAT BRIDGE. BUT EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A STEP THERE IS NO BRIDGE FOR YOU. JUST A REFECTION OF YOUR ADDICTIONS IN THE WATER BEFORE YOU. THE COLOR OF THE WATER SOMETIMES MAKE YOU FEEL BLUE TOO. YOU WOULD WONDER WHAT TO DO BUT WHEN YOU DRUNK AND HIGH STANDING RIGHT THERE FOREVER FEELS BEST FOR YOU. JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND IN YOUR MIND FIND A BRIDGE TO GET YOU BY. MAYBE ITS READING A BOOK OR TWO. MAYBE ITS FISHING IN THAT WATER THATS BLUE. FIND SOMEWAY TO GET OUT OF YOUR ADDICTIONS AND BACK INTO YOU. AND IF YOU GET CLEAN BEFORE YOU AND THE FISH START TALKING. YOU WILL FIND BRIDGES OVER RIVERS WITH NO CROSSINGS…….JTD
SHE WAS SITTING IN FRONT OF THE TV AT THE BUS STATION.SHE WAS DIGGING IN HER PURSE FOR A QUARTER TO TURN ON THE TV. AS I WALKED BY HEADED TO THE HOT BLACK WATER MACHINE TO GET A CUP OF BUS STATION COFFEE. YOU KNOW THE KIND THAT’S SO BAD YOU CAN’T HELP BUT STAY WOKE. BEHIND ME AS I STOOD AT THE MACHINE I COULD HEAR HER SAY…IF I COULD JUST WATCH MY SHOW I COULD GET MY LIFE BACK. SHE SAID,” I LOST MY JOB, SOCKS, AND HUSBAND THAT DAY I SMOKED THAT LACED WEED. I’M SO HOOKED ON DRUGS NOW EVERYDAY I GO TO THE HOSPITAL TO GIVE BACK MY KIDS.” I HAD NEVER MISSED MY SHOW UNTIL THAT DAY. THAT’S WHEN MY LIFE CHANGED. BUT IF I CAN WATCH MY SHOW NOW I CAN GET MY HUSBAND, JOB AND LOVE MY KIDS AGAIN. LIKE TRAVELING BACKWARDS IN TIME AND FREE MYSELF BEFORE IT BEGINS. I WENT OVER TO THE CASHIER AND ASKED FOR TEN DOLLARS IN QUARTERS. I WANTED TO HELP HER JUMP THRU DARKNESS. I SAID TO HER BROKEN WINGS LET ME HELP YOU WITH YOUR STRUGGLE AS I HANDED THE MONEY TO HER. BEFORE I WALKED AWAY I ASKED HER WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THE SHOW. AFTER SHE TOLD ME IT TOOK EVERY GOOD INSIDE ME TO WALK AWAY AND NOT TELL HER THAT THE SHOW WASN’T ON ANYMORE……..JTD