Addictions will have you alone in a room can you make it out…..
Give sobriety a shot…….
Even when you feel no one cares that’s when you should..
Get clean and stay clean….
Addictions can drown you………..
I was in a southern state inside an down south city, that smelled like a down south city with the temperature to match. You know the type of city that you don’t notice when night comes cause it’s so dirty. The type of city that you can drink 24 hours of the day missing sunrise and sunset cause everything just seems motionless. Where the cops just lean against a wall, and you tell them to chase you and they say, man go head on its too hot for that. The type of heat that your parents say i’m beat you when it get cold type of hot. Well one evening or morning honestly I can’t remember what time it was I was very much buzzed off liquor. Anyway walking back to my rented room I had to cross a bridge that crossed the river. As I got closer to the bridge something said,”swim”. Now I never walked without a beer. I sipped the drink and took another step forward. The wind blew me down and I rolled since the bridge was on a hill. I landed at the bottom. As I stood up all I could see in front of me was the water. I looked up the hill to the bridge and at that moment I heard, ” just swim across its quicker”. I walked to the edge of the water and its seemed as if the water was reaching for me. The waves reached further and further towards my shoes. I stood there for about 30 minutes sipping my drink thinking about swimming across. Wondering if it was a test from the God’s. I didn’t plan on failing any test from the God’s after all even to be hired as a janitor in heaven is better than earth’s hell. But at that moment I noticed something. I noticed I was out of drink. I can’t swim across empty handed I told myself. So I climbed up the hill, crossed the bridge and entered the nearest store. I left the store with something new to drink. I looked back at the bridge and finally Jumped Thru Darkness and said hell i’m almost home now and kept walking forward. As I walked away from the bridge I could still hear the words in the wind, ” come back for a swimmmmm”.
All addictions seem to fill us with things that meet the moment. Meaning your addiction makes you tough when you need to be tough. Your addiction makes you crafty when you need to make a cup or something to smoke with. It surely makes it easy to tell a story to get you out of a jam. But over the years you are filled with the emotions from your addictions. The you that was inside drowned over the years in your addictions. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and start your sobriety walk, you will notice the feeling of nothing! You might find yourself trying to balance to walk like a toddler. All old things like people and relationships will sound like bees buzzing and never shuts up. Every moment you find yourself saying ” they don’t know me like that”. If you look in the mirror at that same time even if you are clean you will see the face and red eyes of an addict. Something that worked for me is finding a moment to yourself to heal your mind and soul. Every now and then turn off the phone and Turn off the television. Find you a cook book and a old song your grandma would play. Then remember sitting in the kitchen eating those homemade biscuits. Rebuild your feelings from a special moment. Disregard the feelings that hurt and made you feel needy. Cause feeling needy leads to feeling lonely, and feeling lonely makes you want to party. Party leads to addictions…etc. So find a new routine and remember the good soul moments of your life and Jump Thru Darkness and get in that kitchen and make you a new meal to feel your new sobriety with….JTD
When you start to Jump Thru Darkness. It can make you feel like mending old relationships. No matter how clean you may become nothing can mend if the other side still have addictions in their lives. All you can do is demand respect from others for the new person you have become. If they refuse to respect the new image and dedication you have for your sobriety. No matter how much it hurts or how close you are to the person. Make your sobriety your shield. Those people will never change and the only thing that would happen is you would fall off the wagon. So like a champion remember there is only one belt in sobriety and you are the one wearing it. You did the steps for you, you changed for you, you won for you…..So Jump Thru Darkness and don’t lose for them!!!!!
After you begin to Jump Thru Darkness with your addictions you will become a different person. You will never see things as others see them. That’s because a drunk or addict doesn’t see things like color, race, or religion. Depending on when you started your habit, your habit helped you form your attitude towards life. As a drunk or addict whoever had was your friend. If someone wanted to get drunk and high with you nine times out of ten you was in. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and get clean don’t be surprised when it seems as if you are on another level in life. One that makes you feel like you have passed the color challenge. One that makes you feel as if you have painted a multi-colored race life style. One that makes you listen to any religion as long as it keeps you clean and sober. Somewhere while Jumping Thru Darkness you picked up a alcoholic’s equal attitude. Maybe that’s why Noah from the bible was called upon. Cause a drunk or an addict only see’s one world. Just a thought from a drunk…..JTD
You have taken my dignity and decency. While under addictions spell everything seems to be well. You do and learn things that seem okay in all life. But you never see the cost is your dignity and decency right. As addicts we sleep around, masturbate, cheat, lie, etc… and all in the world seems good. Your body will always like to feel good. Once you Jump Thru Darkness and become clean, you will notice that addictions still exist even when the drugs and alcohol are put down. You will notice habits you learned while in your addiction, that threatens your dignity and decency. It never bothered you before because your body loved it all. Now and forever more is the time to fight once more. You must Jump Thru Darkness to fight for your decency and dignity and return to normal. Don’t worry about being right or becoming a christian. Just worry about earning back your dignity and decency, while Jumping Thru Darkness with your sobriety…JTD