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LET YOUR HEART LOVE

What if the key to GOD’S love was within you. Meaning learning to love unconditionally will make GOD love you unconditionally. Loving someone no matter their sickness. Loving somebody no matter their sin. Loving somebody no matter their addictions. Loving somebody no matter their afflictions. If that’s the case no wonder heaven will seem empty with only a few hundred thousand. And the golden city will be for those who just barely in the nick of time learn how to truly love before they die. Addictions can make it hard to hold and love someone. Yet you must JUMP THRU DARKNESS and truly love with your heart and not your feelings and mind. The heart can’t see only you can. The heart can’t touch or feel only you can. The heart knows only to love or hurt and love is the way to win. Try closing your eyes with your better half and see if you can go one hour without looking at them. Only using your heart and listening to their words of love. Will fear make you open your eyes? Will the lack of trust have you peeping from one eye? Or will you feel your heart smile knowing you JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and tried loving for awhile…….JTD

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Kaptain Their Borg….Addicts

Kaptain the old folks and kids on south deck have been assimilated using molly and weed. The crews on the west deck have been assimilated with powder and gin. The workers on the east and north decks have all been assimilated using liquor and crack. And Kaptain it seems a total loss on the midwest decks….Number three plant a course to the JUMPING THRU DARKNESS system. Sir what will we do there. We shall take the fight to the Borg. TO BE CONTINUED…..JTD

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WEAK…WEEK

You went looking for Monday but found Tuesday.

When Wednesday came you thought it was an

illusion. Thursday tried to wake you up. But Friday

took you back under. Saturday was filled with

head and stomach aches but you didn’t worry.

Cause you knew you would sleep all Sunday so you

could look for Monday…… ADDICTIONS ( JTD)

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A Tree In The Storm

For those of the camp fire. For those who are missing anyone they loved due to any and all tragedies this year. To that woman holding the only child she has left that’s trying to gain the strength to even cook dinner this year. To the father that holds his own hands not to become one of the devils riding around in the streets searching for revenge. To our country that must act like a TREE IN THE STORM and not break but just bend. Our faith and hopes will be bent. Our dreams and our family foundations will be bent. Yet in all things we must JUMP THRU DARKNESS and let our Trees bend but not break in this American Storm. Our tears run down our face like the sap rolling down that tree. We loose friends and family like the leaves falling from that tree. Yet we still must not break. Do what you must and understand a smile might be far away. But whatever you do remember you are branches on america’s tree and you shall not break. Happy Holidays From JTD………

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Are You A Bad Person Or Is It Your Addiction

When JUMPING THRU DARKNESS I want you to understand and know the difference. Are you really a bad person? Are you really a criminal? Or is it really your addictions that control your actions. You won’t fight unless you drunk. You won’t shoot without your blunt. You won’t stand up for yourself unless the crowd makes you feel blessed. While sober and alone you feel your life is a mess. You need a drink or blunt to help you sleep. Just to get up and need a drink and or blunt to keep you wake. Thats because sober you can feel the pain. Sober you can feel the fear. Sober you can understand your hope is far not near. Are you a bad person or it just addiction in your ear. Addictions make you feel like you living a kriminal saga. Yet you the meanest thug around if somebody say something wrong about the bible. So JUMP THRU DARKNESS and see past your own smoke. And start by giving yourself a break cause you might not be the devil you thought….

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ST.IVES SPECIAL BREW….

Life will tell you when it’s time to change. Those of yesterday that danced to luke and hammer or even loved pac and biggie all can remember special brew St. ives. But i’m glad some of them were gone so they didn’t have to watch the end of the things we all loved. Our world in the clubs had came to an end. At first it was girl and guy then it was man dancing with man. It even hurt when the songs we loved became old in the club. The party starter until the party started without me. Soon walking into a club was like walking into unknown waters. But that day when I told the bartender I wanted a special bottle I knew it was over. Our world was gone and I felt the pain too. Because the bartender said they no longer sale special brew. I didn’t know then but I know now that that’s the moment my sobriety battle started. All my contacts in my black book were gone. All my dance partners were gone. All the music I loved to hear was gone. That life was gone. As I walked out the door of the club for the last time. It was like waking up from a dream as I looked to the sky. As I JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and walked away I saw a empty special brew on the ground pointing forward way………JTD

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Find A Way…

Find a way black friend, black friend. Punching right while kicking left is the way of man. No one feels sorry for the broken or needful. Keeping an eye on racist creatures while ducking bullets from your own people. Trying to find the best color to love while dealing with hate from your own. Water is dry when it’s compared to a black man’s tears. Only a shadow in the dark can mention his fears. Running to a missing father while leaving behind his own children. Becoming a man without supervision. As a child says daddy come back home in their whispers. A drug and a drink to help him think. Never feeling that his addictions are making him sink. Black man,black man you can solve any problem. But when it comes to your addictions you have no answer. Black man, black man don’t just read this. Black man, black man JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand this. If you not a black man and yet you still reading this. When I say black man I mean all men that’s fighting for something. That’s making a way out of nothing. So in the end we’ll feel like our lives meant something. Not to impress others but to feel like we didn’t live our lives in vain. While fighting our addictions with pride instead of living in shame. Black man, black man find a way…..JTD

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Dealing With Family And Friends Who Are Addicts..

YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF DO YOU REALLY HAVE A HEART? MANY PEOPLE TURN THEIR BACKS ON ADDICTS. BUT ADDICTION IS A SICKNESS LIKE ANY OTHER. WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON SOMEONE WITH CANCER? WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON SOMEONE WITH LUPUS. THESE PEOPLE HAVE SICKNESS THAT LAST FOREVER MOST OF THE TIMES. YET YOU WILL STAND BESIDE THEM NO MATTER WHAT. TRUTH BE TOLD CANCER AND LUPUS AS WELL AS MANY OTHER’S CAN HAVE YOU LOOKING LIKE A CRACKHEAD WITHOUT A PIPE. I KNOW YOU HATE WHEN YOUR PARENTS OR KIDS DRINK AND SMOKE. YOU EVEN STAND TO THEIR BEDROOM DOOR WATCHING THEM AS THEY ARE PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR. IT’S HARD NOT TO FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY. BUT JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND LET YOUR FOUNDATION BUILT BY LOVE LEAD THE WAY. CAUSE EVEN IN THEIR ADDICTIONS THEY DESERVE LOVE AND A SMILING FACE……JTD

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WASN'T I THE MAN THEN…

I WAS THE MAN WHEN I WAS DRINKING AND DRUGGING EVERY NIGHT. WASN’T I THE MAN WHEN I HELPED YOU FIGHT. I KNOW I WAS THE MAN WHEN SHE LET ME STAY OVER EVERY NIGHT. BUT WAS I THE MAN WHEN THE JUDGE SAID 10, 20, TWO LIFE. DID THE TEARS FROM MY EYES MAKE ME LESS THAN A MAN FOR THE CRIMES. BUT IN MY MIND AS I STOOD THERE I COULD STILL SMILE CAUSE I KNEW SOMEBODY WAS STILL CALLING ME THE MAN SOMEWHERE. DIDN’T I JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND STEAL A METER WHEN YOUR LIGHTS GOT TURNED OFF. DIDN’T I JUMP THRU DARKNESS WHEN I CALLED THE MANAGER AT THAT THERE RESTAURANT AND SAID MY ORDER WAS MESSED UP. EVEN WHEN I DIDN’T BUY FOOD BECAUSE I NEEDED TO FEED YOU. I KNOW I WAS THE MAN WHEN I SHOWED UP TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU AND YOUR SISTER WAS BOTH HAVING MY KIDS. I MEAN EVEN AS THEY TAKE ME TO DO MY TIME. I WAS THE MAN WASN’T I ???……JTD

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The Spirit Of Josey Wales

After being clean and sober for awhile you will notice some things. You will sometimes feel like your mouth is bleeding. But when you touch it there’s no blood. Spending years as an addict all your friends seem to be gone. Yet for some strange reason you can always count on your dog. With a woman or man that loves you even if you can’t understand what they’re saying. Being able to see the sun shine gives meaning to the word praying. No one you ever have known seems to believe you have changed. But while standing in the road in front of the law they say have a nice day. As you turn and walk away you will feel the spirit of Josey Wales as freedom sets in. While you JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand your war has come to an end. With the wisdom to know that drinking and drugging will start it all over again. Walk away into the sun set and stay free from addictions my friend……JTD

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Some Days Are Hard…..

Some days are hard. Living all week on a pack of noodles and hot dogs. Sitting in a empty room and your mind is still filled with noise. Just to notice that it seems hard to breathe even with hard wind blowing. Pain pills seem to make any pain worse. Searching for something to help you within your wallet or purse. Then when you do make it to the end of the day. A meal and a warm shower should make you feel okay. But you quickly have to deal with a hard pillow that adds a slap to your mental and physical pain. You really have to JUMP THRU DARKNESS on those days. When sweat attacks you like a gang and no matter what you do the feelings still make you feel like you going insane. Remember to hold onto your sobriety and the hope of a new day. Yet that day may repeat but atleast you still will be sober and clean…JTD

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LACTOSE AND TOLERANT….

To jump thru darkness I teach you many methods. One of my latest is called LACTOSE AND TOLERANT. You begin by noticing all the people in your life that are lacking (lac). You must then find away to rid yourself of such people in your life to sustain your sobriety. Never let anyone plan a trip for your life when they don’t have a destination for their own. Once you get rid of all the lacking people in your life you then give them a toast (TOSE) goodbye. Understand that life will still have its share of twists and turns. So learn to tolerate such things until you become tolerant to all things. Becoming tolerant to all things will make it harder for you to fall for anything including your addictions. Becoming tolerant will allow you to endure all things of this world better than most helping you to easily always JUMP THRU DARKNESS. So today start JUMPING THRU DARKNESS by becoming LACTOSE AND TOLERANT….

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DIRTY MIRROR 2

These days darkness comes in every form. From a woman that searches the internet to learn all your flaws. To a preacher calling the cops as soon as you leave the building saying its the word of GOD. To teachers hiding their addictions. To cops with drugs problems hoping no one see them tricking. Trust has been narrowed down to your inner circle and every now and then you wonder if they are loyal. With everyone watching the addicts but overlooking the real criminals. In a world where a lie can bring down the strong and empower the devils. In a time when you look at someone it seems as if you looking through a dirty mirror. Everytime a woman is alone with a man she wonders if he wants to sleep with her. Just to find out he likes her husband but still flirts with her. Single people are left searching for whats next bi, tri, homo, or interstate. Everyone left in this world has or is doing evil things. Making the truthful good climb back into jesus’s death cave. Pulling the boulder to close the hole and hope to JUMP THRU DARKNESS. While trying To live another day clean and sober……..JTD

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Religion and Addictions

They say you ain’t nothing without GOD. They say you aren’t anyone without a church home. Check this Jumping thru darkness is filled with words most preachers can’t or won’t say. At the same time if you not a member of their church no one no matter how good you maybe talking will listen. While standing along amongst so many other churches makes them want to stand their grounds. It only gives an addict gas to say ” hell all these churches and none of them can get along”. Making everything they say and do to seem better than others. While an addict in recovery needs to feel accepted. But how can you make an addict feel accepted when you down one another. Yet if they are not members you fall on deaf ear to them. That’s one reason I say JUMP THRU DARKNESS no matter the way. Preacher listen how can your words help the hopeless when you only want to deal with those that accept you and your congregation. In your mind the church is as far as you try to reach. Try reaching outside the walls with addictions and help someone to JUMP THRU DARKNESS and not just preach to your members but put your words in action that will also help the hopeless. Cause even an addict wants to go to heaven when it’s all said and done with……..JTD

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AN ADDICTS LOVE (THE BREAD TEST)

To see where you maybe in your relationship and life when you are an addict or loving a addict do the bread test. Get five slices of bread. Two end pieces and three regular pieces. Grab your mate ( this can be used with any mix of relationships) and ask them how would they split the bread between the two of you. Some people will give the woman the two regular pieces and the man would be a gentleman and take one regular and one end piece. Leaving one end piece out. You can easily find out if your mate is selfish. If your mate puts everything into you. Or if your mate can truly share even the simplest of things like a piece of bread. Most addicts want the best of everything. Never thinking about anyone elses happiness. You can get deep with this test and easily look into the soul of your mate to see what really is beneath the cover and deep inside the person. Me I would give each of us one regular piece and one end piece. Because love and life should be equal in all things even when you are in a releationship with addictions. Yes you can be a gentleman and give your lover,friend etc.. the two regular pieces but you are not giving yourself the love you deserve. Its better to be fair and equal in all things. Letting him or her know you love them regardless. As you fight your addictions and JUMP THRU DARKNESS..

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ALL SHE NEED TO BE…

She said homeboy what you mean to me. All I need to do is pop this thang every now and then for my light bill. Cause since i’ve been 16 i’ve been sleeping with uncle sam. He pay my rent even gave me section 8. So I can smoke during the day and make my money to get my hair done every week off you dudes. I keep every size condom on my kitchen table. Can’t make no money if i’m itching and stanking from a one bath a month type of brother. I even kicked my man out for a few days so I could get that money from his friends and the sex wasn’t that bad. So while you telling me what I need to do. It seems as if the government love women like me and get rid of dudes like you. I open up my legs and get free rent. You zip down your pants and get incarcerated or killed. As she turned to walk away she noticed me standing there. She said hey OVERSEER. I looked her right in the eyes and said ……..Nothing not a damn thing. Cause why waste my time telling her to JUMP THRU DARKNESS and what she need. When she already think or know what she needs to be……JTD

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Life Or Death

He fixed her some eggs. He asked her did she want to get more drugs. He heard yes. So he ran for the door. Down the street to the abandon home of addictions. He tapped on the window and a open hand slide from inside. He placed his 40 dollars on the plastic wearing hand. Two minutes later the hand was back with drugs inside. He grabbed the drugs. It seemed as if he was standing in front of an empty building playing trick or treat to the people that passed by. He went back home and in his eyes she was eating the eggs. He said baby are you okay? He then heard yes baby i’m fine. An hour later a cop that had been following him kicked in the door. He screamed them my drugs she hasn’t done anything. The officer screamed back ” Damn man this chick overdosed about four days ago.” All he could say is no, no ,no she just was eating some egg’s. We even made love twenty minutes before you kicked in the door. The officer then asked ” what type of drugs caused all this.” He said here in peoria we call it life or death…..JTD

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FEELING IS HEALING

Jumping thru darkness is poetry, short stories, and spoken words about addictions to make you feel. An addict often times hide their feelings with their addictions. Many will abuse an addict by telling them all the things they do wrong. Many meet addicts with a stern look when they open the door. I heard many say things like thats what they get for playing with GOD. Becoming more lethal to the addict than the drugs. Let’s not beat those whom have already decided to be beaten. Let’s help them instead to start their emotions to work and stop sleeping. Getting the feelings back inside their hearts with words that spark. Then showing them that in life they can live a better part. My focus is to whisper not to yell,to teach but not to preach, until their true feelings I reach. Then like the popping of hot grease on their arms i jump start their feelings again inside their hearts. Hoping to lead them away from addictions. While teaching them to JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand that feeling is healing. All while teaching them that saving them is the mission…..JTD

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WORDS OF A DRUNK…

MANN I’M A DRUNK. THE WORDS YOU ARE READING ARE DRUNK. THE FINGERS THAT WROTE THIS BELONG TO A DRUNK. AT MY WEDDING I SAID NO I’D RATHER BE DRUNK. WHEN MY BOSS CALLED AND ASKED WAS I COMING TO WORK. I SAID HELL NAW I’M DRUNK. WHEN SHE ASKED WHY I DIDN’T SPEND THE NIGHT LIKE I WAS A PUNK. I TOLD THE CHICK SHE BE UGLY AND STANK WHEN I’M DRUNK. SHE ASKED ME WOULD SHE SEE ME AGAIN. I SAID YEAH WHEN I’M DRUNK. WHEN HER FOLKS TRIED TO FIGHT ME NO I DIDN’T RUN. IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I WAS BRAVE. I WAS JUST TO DRUNK TO RUN. EVERYDAY YOU HAVE TO BE BOLD ON ALCOHOLIC ROAD. I FEEL BAD ALSO. MY STOMUCH HURTING BECAUSE IM A DRUNK. SO I GUESS I’LL EASE THE PAIN BY GETTING DRUNK. NEVER MIND MY BREATH CAUSE YOU TO CLOSE. WHO WANTS GOOD BREATH WHILE THEY GETTING DRUNK. WHEN I PRAY I ASK GOD TO SPEAK TO NOAH CAUSE HE WAS A DRUNK. WHATEVER MANN I’M OUT ABOUT TO GO GET DRUNK. SOMETIMES THE DARKNESS CAN BE TO MUCH. BUT I MAY HAVE A BETTER CHANCE JUMPING THRU DARKNESS WHEN I’M DRUNK……JTD

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THE MENTAL BATTLE…

JUMPING THRU DARKNESS WILL REQUIRE SOME MENTAL BATTLES. LETS TALK ABOUT VOICES AND HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSIONS. MANY OF YOU DEAL WITH THESE PROBLEMS. THE PROBLEMS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL YOU HEAR THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEAR. MAKING EVERYONE AROUND YOU YOUR ENEMY IF YOU LET THE VOICES AND HALLUCINATIONS TELL IT. HAVING MOST PEOPLE WISHING FOR A QUIET NIGHT IN THEIR OWN HEADS AND EARS. MAKING YOU FEEL UNWANTED AND HATED. YES I KNOW I BEEN THERE. WE AS PEOPLE HAVE THESE PROBLEMS MORE OFTEN THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. THE VOICES OF PEOPLE SAYING YOU ARE A CRIMINAL. THE VOICES OF YOUR LOVER IS CHEATING. THE VOICES OF HOW YOU ARE HATED. MAKING IT HARD FOR YOU TO TALK TO AND TRUST PEOPLE WHEN THE VOICES YOU HEARD WERE THOSE VERY PEOPLE. HERE’S HOW YOU CAN JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND EASE SOME OF THOSE ISSUES. MOST TIMES THESE THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU ALONE. MANY TIMES AT NIGHT OR IN THE DARK. SO YOU GO INTO THE BATHROOM OR BEDROOM AND TURN THE LIGHT OFF. ANSWER EVERY VOICE YOU MAY HAVE OR MAYBE HEARING. HAVE IT OUT EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO SAY. SAY IT BACK TO THE VERY PLACE FROM WHICH IT COMES. AT NIGHT, IN THE DARK, BEHIND ITS BACK, IN HIDDEN SECRET, IS HOW YOU SHOULD RESPOND BACK TO THE VOICES, THE HALLUCINATIONS, THE DELUSIONS. BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN ALL THOSE THINGS ATTACK YOU. EMPTY OUT YOUR MIND IN ALL THOSE WAYS IN THE DARKNESS OF THE ROOM AND LET YOUR FEELINGS OUT. THIS WILL ALLOW YOU TO HAVE NORMAL DAYS AND NOT TAKE THINGS OUT ON INNOCENT PEOPLE. REMEMBER NO ONE HEARS THE VOICES YOU HEAR SO NO ONE HAS TO BATTLE IN THE DARKNESS WITH THE VOICES BUT YOU. LEAVE YOUR BATTLE WITH THE VOICES, HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSIONS IN THE DARKNESS OF THE ROOM BECAUSE THE DARKNESS MAY NEVER REALLY BOTHER YOU IN THE LIGHT. IF IT DOES THATS BECAUSE IT’S NOT A VOICE IT’S REAL LIFE. ALLOWING YOU TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHATS REAL AND WHATS NOT. MAKING IT EASY FOR YOU TO BATTLE WITH THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD AND JUMP THRU DARKNESS……….