The fight for sobriety can be a tough one. Sitting in meetings thinking about all the other things you could be doing besides a meeting. Hating every story others tell. Looking at some of them like you shouldn’t be in a meeting you should be in jail. Feeling bad for yourself but Jesus got us all beat. He was tortured and nailed to a cross, while we cry and moan over an alcoholic defeat. While in our addictions we are told we are loved, but like rain bouncing off a coat we brush all emotions off. While Jumping Thru Darkness don’t just hear the words we love you from your family, husband ,wife or children. Nope try to fight a good fight and when they tell you they love you finally listen……JTD
Life of an addict can be very simple. The life of any addict can be summed up as Empty bottle Empty life. To any addict their addiction is the main thing they life for. Nope their lover is just as important as a gift they was given. A gift they can’t give away and they only keep them around cause it was a gift. That’s love to an addict. If that lover says they leaving and starts to walk out the door. The addict says with every emotional realness go ahead and go. But if the addicts bottle becomes empty and they don’t have money for more. They be laying down crying on the floor. Cause in an addicts mind a empty bottle feels as if their life is gone. More important than any husband or wife. To an addict an Empty Bottle Means A Empty Life…JTD
I was in a southern state inside an down south city, that smelled like a down south city with the temperature to match. You know the type of city that you don’t notice when night comes cause it’s so dirty. The type of city that you can drink 24 hours of the day missing sunrise and sunset cause everything just seems motionless. Where the cops just lean against a wall, and you tell them to chase you and they say, man go head on its too hot for that. The type of heat that your parents say i’m beat you when it get cold type of hot. Well one evening or morning honestly I can’t remember what time it was I was very much buzzed off liquor. Anyway walking back to my rented room I had to cross a bridge that crossed the river. As I got closer to the bridge something said,”swim”. Now I never walked without a beer. I sipped the drink and took another step forward. The wind blew me down and I rolled since the bridge was on a hill. I landed at the bottom. As I stood up all I could see in front of me was the water. I looked up the hill to the bridge and at that moment I heard, ” just swim across its quicker”. I walked to the edge of the water and its seemed as if the water was reaching for me. The waves reached further and further towards my shoes. I stood there for about 30 minutes sipping my drink thinking about swimming across. Wondering if it was a test from the God’s. I didn’t plan on failing any test from the God’s after all even to be hired as a janitor in heaven is better than earth’s hell. But at that moment I noticed something. I noticed I was out of drink. I can’t swim across empty handed I told myself. So I climbed up the hill, crossed the bridge and entered the nearest store. I left the store with something new to drink. I looked back at the bridge and finally Jumped Thru Darkness and said hell i’m almost home now and kept walking forward. As I walked away from the bridge I could still hear the words in the wind, ” come back for a swimmmmm”.
If you are having problems staying clean and sober. Look to the water of the nearest river,lake or ocean. Just think you started to sober up and wondered how you ended up in the middle of that water about to drown. As your mind gets clearer you decide to fight for your life. Meaning you go swim like no swimmer has ever swam before. But you are then attacked by ( P.S.G.T). First you are grabbed by the legs with pain. The pain that made you get high. The pain that made you get drunk. So you start to swim a little slower. Next a storm of sadness covers the sky. You start remembering your lover leaving you. You start remembering all your friends that passed away. So you begin to swim even slower. At that point the fins of guilt surround you. You still try to swim but your own self induced guilt tries to stop you in place. Finally the huge waves of time passing while you barely swim takes it toll and you almost drown. As you wait in the water for someone to show up walking you have to Jump Thru Darkness and just think. Guilt is a two way street. Your addictions made you do things but those that condemn you aren’t addicts just pure evil. So start back swimming. Yes pain is there but pain is apart of life. So reach them arms out and swim a little more. Of course, sadness can make a home fall but sadness can be beaten with a simple smile. As for time well its a two edged thing. Because if you Jump Thru Darkness you will notice over time you stopped swimming and started walking and winning your life back…..JTD
All addictions seem to fill us with things that meet the moment. Meaning your addiction makes you tough when you need to be tough. Your addiction makes you crafty when you need to make a cup or something to smoke with. It surely makes it easy to tell a story to get you out of a jam. But over the years you are filled with the emotions from your addictions. The you that was inside drowned over the years in your addictions. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and start your sobriety walk, you will notice the feeling of nothing! You might find yourself trying to balance to walk like a toddler. All old things like people and relationships will sound like bees buzzing and never shuts up. Every moment you find yourself saying ” they don’t know me like that”. If you look in the mirror at that same time even if you are clean you will see the face and red eyes of an addict. Something that worked for me is finding a moment to yourself to heal your mind and soul. Every now and then turn off the phone and Turn off the television. Find you a cook book and a old song your grandma would play. Then remember sitting in the kitchen eating those homemade biscuits. Rebuild your feelings from a special moment. Disregard the feelings that hurt and made you feel needy. Cause feeling needy leads to feeling lonely, and feeling lonely makes you want to party. Party leads to addictions…etc. So find a new routine and remember the good soul moments of your life and Jump Thru Darkness and get in that kitchen and make you a new meal to feel your new sobriety with….JTD
After you begin to Jump Thru Darkness with your addictions you will become a different person. You will never see things as others see them. That’s because a drunk or addict doesn’t see things like color, race, or religion. Depending on when you started your habit, your habit helped you form your attitude towards life. As a drunk or addict whoever had was your friend. If someone wanted to get drunk and high with you nine times out of ten you was in. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and get clean don’t be surprised when it seems as if you are on another level in life. One that makes you feel like you have passed the color challenge. One that makes you feel as if you have painted a multi-colored race life style. One that makes you listen to any religion as long as it keeps you clean and sober. Somewhere while Jumping Thru Darkness you picked up a alcoholic’s equal attitude. Maybe that’s why Noah from the bible was called upon. Cause a drunk or an addict only see’s one world. Just a thought from a drunk…..JTD
You have taken my dignity and decency. While under addictions spell everything seems to be well. You do and learn things that seem okay in all life. But you never see the cost is your dignity and decency right. As addicts we sleep around, masturbate, cheat, lie, etc… and all in the world seems good. Your body will always like to feel good. Once you Jump Thru Darkness and become clean, you will notice that addictions still exist even when the drugs and alcohol are put down. You will notice habits you learned while in your addiction, that threatens your dignity and decency. It never bothered you before because your body loved it all. Now and forever more is the time to fight once more. You must Jump Thru Darkness to fight for your decency and dignity and return to normal. Don’t worry about being right or becoming a christian. Just worry about earning back your dignity and decency, while Jumping Thru Darkness with your sobriety…JTD
Find a way black friend, black friend. Punching right while kicking left is the way of man. No one feels sorry for the broken or needful. Keeping an eye on racist creatures while ducking bullets from your own people. Trying to find the best color to love while dealing with hate from your own. Water is dry when it’s compared to a black man’s tears. Only a shadow in the dark can mention his fears. Running to a missing father while leaving behind his own children. Becoming a man without supervision. As a child says daddy come back home in their whispers. A drug and a drink to help him think. Never feeling that his addictions are making him sink. Black man,black man you can solve any problem. But when it comes to your addictions you have no answer. Black man, black man don’t just read this. Black man, black man JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand this. If you not a black man and yet you still reading this. When I say black man I mean all men that’s fighting for something. That’s making a way out of nothing. So in the end we’ll feel like our lives meant something. Not to impress others but to feel like we didn’t live our lives in vain. While fighting our addictions with pride instead of living in shame. Black man, black man find a way…..JTD
JTD SOBER LIVING 
You must be logged in to post a comment.