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Don’t Just Hear,Finally Listen

The fight for sobriety can be a tough one. Sitting in meetings thinking about all the other things you could be doing besides a meeting. Hating every story others tell. Looking at some of them like you shouldn’t be in a meeting you should be in jail. Feeling bad for yourself but Jesus got us all beat. He was tortured and nailed to a cross, while we cry and moan over an alcoholic defeat. While in our addictions we are told we are loved, but like rain bouncing off a coat we brush all emotions off. While Jumping Thru Darkness don’t just hear the words we love you from your family, husband ,wife or children. Nope try to fight a good fight and when they tell you they love you finally listen……JTD

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Empty Bottle Empty Life

Life of an addict can be very simple. The life of any addict can be summed up as Empty bottle Empty life. To any addict their addiction is the main thing they life for. Nope their lover is just as important as a gift they was given. A gift they can’t give away and they only keep them around cause it was a gift. That’s love to an addict. If that lover says they leaving and starts to walk out the door. The addict says with every emotional realness go ahead and go. But if the addicts bottle becomes empty and they don’t have money for more. They be laying down crying on the floor. Cause in an addicts mind a empty bottle feels as if their life is gone. More important than any husband or wife. To an addict an Empty Bottle Means A Empty Life…JTD

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Alone in a room….

Addictions will have you alone in a room can you make it out…..

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One fight against addictions video

Give sobriety a shot…….

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Care about your sobriety…

Even when you feel no one cares that’s when you should..

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Earning your life back. Click for video….

Get clean and stay clean….

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Click for video

Addictions can drown you………..

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SWIM

I was in a southern state inside an down south city, that smelled like a down south city with the temperature to match. You know the type of city that you don’t notice when night comes cause it’s so dirty. The type of city that you can drink 24 hours of the day missing sunrise and sunset cause everything just seems motionless. Where the cops just lean against a wall, and you tell them to chase you and they say, man go head on its too hot for that. The type of heat that your parents say i’m beat you when it get cold type of hot. Well one evening or morning honestly I can’t remember what time it was I was very much buzzed off liquor. Anyway walking back to my rented room I had to cross a bridge that crossed the river. As I got closer to the bridge something said,”swim”. Now I never walked without a beer. I sipped the drink and took another step forward. The wind blew me down and I rolled since the bridge was on a hill. I landed at the bottom. As I stood up all I could see in front of me was the water. I looked up the hill to the bridge and at that moment I heard, ” just swim across its quicker”. I walked to the edge of the water and its seemed as if the water was reaching for me. The waves reached further and further towards my shoes. I stood there for about 30 minutes sipping my drink thinking about swimming across. Wondering if it was a test from the God’s. I didn’t plan on failing any test from the God’s after all even to be hired as a janitor in heaven is better than earth’s hell. But at that moment I noticed something. I noticed I was out of drink. I can’t swim across empty handed I told myself. So I climbed up the hill, crossed the bridge and entered the nearest store. I left the store with something new to drink. I looked back at the bridge and finally Jumped Thru Darkness and said hell i’m almost home now and kept walking forward. As I walked away from the bridge I could still hear the words in the wind, ” come back for a swimmmmm”.

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Pain, Sadness, Guilt and Time (P.S.G.T)

If you are having problems staying clean and sober. Look to the water of the nearest river,lake or ocean. Just think you started to sober up and wondered how you ended up in the middle of that water about to drown. As your mind gets clearer you decide to fight for your life. Meaning you go swim like no swimmer has ever swam before. But you are then attacked by ( P.S.G.T). First you are grabbed by the legs with pain. The pain that made you get high. The pain that made you get drunk. So you start to swim a little slower. Next a storm of sadness covers the sky. You start remembering your lover leaving you. You start remembering all your friends that passed away. So you begin to swim even slower. At that point the fins of guilt surround you. You still try to swim but your own self induced guilt tries to stop you in place. Finally the huge waves of time passing while you barely swim takes it toll and you almost drown. As you wait in the water for someone to show up walking you have to Jump Thru Darkness and just think. Guilt is a two way street. Your addictions made you do things but those that condemn you aren’t addicts just pure evil. So start back swimming. Yes pain is there but pain is apart of life. So reach them arms out and swim a little more. Of course, sadness can make a home fall but sadness can be beaten with a simple smile. As for time well its a two edged thing. Because if you Jump Thru Darkness you will notice over time you stopped swimming and started walking and winning your life back…..JTD
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Filling Yourself With Something New…..

All addictions seem to fill us with things that meet the moment. Meaning your addiction makes you tough when you need to be tough. Your addiction makes you crafty when you need to make a cup or something to smoke with. It surely makes it easy to tell a story to get you out of a jam. But over the years you are filled with the emotions from your addictions. The you that was inside drowned over the years in your addictions. So when you Jump Thru Darkness and start your sobriety walk, you will notice the feeling of nothing! You might find yourself trying to balance to walk like a toddler. All old things like people and relationships will sound like bees buzzing and never shuts up. Every moment you find yourself saying ” they don’t know me like that”. If you look in the mirror at that same time even if you are clean you will see the face and red eyes of an addict. Something that worked for me is finding a moment to yourself to heal your mind and soul. Every now and then turn off the phone and Turn off the television. Find you a cook book and a old song your grandma would play. Then remember sitting in the kitchen eating those homemade biscuits. Rebuild your feelings from a special moment. Disregard the feelings that hurt and made you feel needy. Cause feeling needy leads to feeling lonely, and feeling lonely makes you want to party. Party leads to addictions…etc. So find a new routine and remember the good soul moments of your life and Jump Thru Darkness and get in that kitchen and make you a new meal to feel your new sobriety with….JTD

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Sobriety Is Often Solo

When you start to Jump Thru Darkness. It can make you feel like mending old relationships. No matter how clean you may become nothing can mend if the other side still have addictions in their lives. All you can do is demand respect from others for the new person you have become. If they refuse to respect the new image and dedication you have for your sobriety. No matter how much it hurts or how close you are to the person. Make your sobriety your shield. Those people will never change and the only thing that would happen is you would fall off the wagon. So like a champion remember there is only one belt in sobriety and you are the one wearing it. You did the steps for you, you changed for you, you won for you…..So Jump Thru Darkness and don’t lose for them!!!!!

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SOBRIETY MEANS LETTING GO OF SOME MUSIC

The hardest day ever was the day when I laid my walk-man on the dresser and walked outside without it. As I walked it seemed as if I was in a new world. I lived by those words in them songs. Some songs seem as if they were about me and some wasn’t. But in real life that music wasn’t for me. I was smart not a lame. I could make my own history not just copy words from a song just to pretend. Then I saw a car driving fast with them boys giving chase. The song they was playing was good. But it didn’t help when the telephone pole attacked the cars hood. They jumped out running leaving the car and the song behind. I bopped my head to the song as I walked by. Then the boys caught them man dudes couldn’t even rhyme. Now living a life in another persons song got them doing time. I guess they should have left them ghetto songs along. Cause not even the singers of those songs last to long. Then drugs and drinking can make you feel like you the star of it all when you hear the sound. When in reality you’re nothing but another crackhead or drunk looking and acting like a clown. So jump thru darkness and start a new before the drugs, drinking and song turn into the blues. So when you do decide to get clean remember that means all the drug, gangster, and hood trap music too…….JTD

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YOU, ME, AND WE

You learned the streets can be hell. Me well I learned drugs and alcohol can create hell. We learned it’s easier when you get into trouble as a kid but quickly found out that’s different when you become a man. You learned to watch when someone else is rolling the blunt. Me I learned from watching you not to smoke blunts. We learned that sometimes who is doing the smoking doesn’t matter when you get pulled over. You learned a new number to post bail. Me I learned you told the cop it was both of our weed. We learned nobody wants to fall alone in the game. You learned your strikes was at three. Me I didn’t look back when I became free. Then like a hungry man saving a cows life. I JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and bailed you out. You, me, and we both knew why. Cause if we acted like friends neither one of us would have gotten out. So YOU, ME, AND WE make the two sides to every street….JTD

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THE AROUSAL OF ADDICTIONS

Let’s prepare ourselves for the journey and arousal of the new year. You went down alcoholic road and faced a mental battle in the end. As you began to JUMP THRU DARKNESS in the last years you felt you could win. Yet the addiction demons are stronger and some even have friends. You can’t really want something to smoke without a drink in hand. Remember that when you JUMPED THRU DARKNESS you became a new person my friend. Yet always remember the tiny warning at the bottom of your sobriety. It says even after you change for the better your addictions just get stronger and clever. So no matter what your face may look like after you earn your sobriety. JUMP THRU DARKNESS and keep riding. The darkness of addictions has many forms. So in this new year PRAY, STAY FOCUSED, AND MOST OF ALL LEAVE THE DRINKS AND DRUGS ALONE AND KEEP JUMPING THRU DARKNESS………JTD

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

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LET YOUR HEART LOVE

What if the key to GOD’S love was within you. Meaning learning to love unconditionally will make GOD love you unconditionally. Loving someone no matter their sickness. Loving somebody no matter their sin. Loving somebody no matter their addictions. Loving somebody no matter their afflictions. If that’s the case no wonder heaven will seem empty with only a few hundred thousand. And the golden city will be for those who just barely in the nick of time learn how to truly love before they die. Addictions can make it hard to hold and love someone. Yet you must JUMP THRU DARKNESS and truly love with your heart and not your feelings and mind. The heart can’t see only you can. The heart can’t touch or feel only you can. The heart knows only to love or hurt and love is the way to win. Try closing your eyes with your better half and see if you can go one hour without looking at them. Only using your heart and listening to their words of love. Will fear make you open your eyes? Will the lack of trust have you peeping from one eye? Or will you feel your heart smile knowing you JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and tried loving for awhile…….JTD

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Kaptain Their Borg….Addicts

Kaptain the old folks and kids on south deck have been assimilated using molly and weed. The crews on the west deck have been assimilated with powder and gin. The workers on the east and north decks have all been assimilated using liquor and crack. And Kaptain it seems a total loss on the midwest decks….Number three plant a course to the JUMPING THRU DARKNESS system. Sir what will we do there. We shall take the fight to the Borg. TO BE CONTINUED…..JTD

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WEAK…WEEK

You went looking for Monday but found Tuesday.

When Wednesday came you thought it was an

illusion. Thursday tried to wake you up. But Friday

took you back under. Saturday was filled with

head and stomach aches but you didn’t worry.

Cause you knew you would sleep all Sunday so you

could look for Monday…… ADDICTIONS ( JTD)

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Find A Way…

Find a way black friend, black friend. Punching right while kicking left is the way of man. No one feels sorry for the broken or needful. Keeping an eye on racist creatures while ducking bullets from your own people. Trying to find the best color to love while dealing with hate from your own. Water is dry when it’s compared to a black man’s tears. Only a shadow in the dark can mention his fears. Running to a missing father while leaving behind his own children. Becoming a man without supervision. As a child says daddy come back home in their whispers. A drug and a drink to help him think. Never feeling that his addictions are making him sink. Black man,black man you can solve any problem. But when it comes to your addictions you have no answer. Black man, black man don’t just read this. Black man, black man JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand this. If you not a black man and yet you still reading this. When I say black man I mean all men that’s fighting for something. That’s making a way out of nothing. So in the end we’ll feel like our lives meant something. Not to impress others but to feel like we didn’t live our lives in vain. While fighting our addictions with pride instead of living in shame. Black man, black man find a way…..JTD

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JTD 6 KRIMINAL SAGA: FOR ZORA

OUR EYES ARE STILL WATCHING FOR GOD. THE DARKNESS OF THIS EARTH NOW WILL MAKE MULES AND MEN CRY. WHEN WE JUMP THRU DARKNESS WE TELL OUR HORSES NOT TO LEAVE DUST TRACKS ON THE ROAD. SO THE DEVIL WON’T KNOW WE GONE. IF THE DARKNESS EVER CATCHES EVERY TONGUE WILL GO TO CONFESSING. SO WE RIDE AND JUMP THRU DARKNESS WITH THE LESSONS YOU PUT IN WORDS. I’M JUST HOPING I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT HEARD. YOU SAID MOSES WAS A MAN OF THE MOUNTAIN. I’M TRYING TO CLIMB IT TO IN THE DARKNESS. BUT I AIN’T NO SERAPH ON THE SUWANEE. I DO WHAT I MUST TO TAKE CARE ME. I DON’T LISTEN TO LIES AND OTHER TALL TALES. CAUSE NONE OF THAT MATTERS WHEN YOU LIVING A LIFE IN LETTERS. I HEARD SOMEONE SAY GO MUDDY THE WATER. I FELT I MUST BE CLEVER. NEVERTHELESS WITH EVERY WORD YOU WROTE IT ADDS MORE BEATS TO MY HEART. YOU WAS LAID TO REST AMONGST THE PEOPLE YOU LOVED. BUT YOUR WISDOM STILL LIVES ON. AS WE JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND DO OUR PART. WITH OUR EYES STILL WATCHING GOD……..JTD

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JTD 6 KRIMINAL SAGA : RIVERS WITH NO CROSSINGS….

ADDICTIONS ARE LIKE RIVERS WITH NO CROSSINGS. YOU CAN STAND ON THE EDGE AND SEE THE BRIDGE. YOU CAN WATCH PEOPLE DRIVE AND WALK BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THAT BRIDGE. BUT EVERYTIME YOU TAKE A STEP THERE IS NO BRIDGE FOR YOU. JUST A REFECTION OF YOUR ADDICTIONS IN THE WATER BEFORE YOU. THE COLOR OF THE WATER SOMETIMES MAKE YOU FEEL BLUE TOO. YOU WOULD WONDER WHAT TO DO BUT WHEN YOU DRUNK AND HIGH STANDING RIGHT THERE FOREVER FEELS BEST FOR YOU. JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND IN YOUR MIND FIND A BRIDGE TO GET YOU BY. MAYBE ITS READING A BOOK OR TWO. MAYBE ITS FISHING IN THAT WATER THATS BLUE. FIND SOMEWAY TO GET OUT OF YOUR ADDICTIONS AND BACK INTO YOU. AND IF YOU GET CLEAN BEFORE YOU AND THE FISH START TALKING. YOU WILL FIND BRIDGES OVER RIVERS WITH NO CROSSINGS…….JTD