JTD SOBER LIVING

YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF DO YOU REALLY HAVE A HEART? MANY PEOPLE TURN THEIR BACKS ON ADDICTS. BUT ADDICTION IS A SICKNESS LIKE ANY OTHER. WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON SOMEONE WITH CANCER? WOULD YOU TURN YOUR BACK ON SOMEONE WITH LUPUS. THESE PEOPLE HAVE SICKNESS THAT LAST FOREVER MOST OF THE TIMES. YET YOU WILL STAND BESIDE THEM NO MATTER WHAT. TRUTH BE TOLD CANCER AND LUPUS AS WELL AS MANY OTHER’S CAN HAVE YOU LOOKING LIKE A CRACKHEAD WITHOUT A PIPE. I KNOW YOU HATE WHEN YOUR PARENTS OR KIDS DRINK AND SMOKE. YOU EVEN STAND TO THEIR BEDROOM DOOR WATCHING THEM AS THEY ARE PASSED OUT ON THE FLOOR. IT’S HARD NOT TO FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY. BUT JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND LET YOUR FOUNDATION BUILT BY LOVE LEAD THE WAY. CAUSE EVEN IN THEIR ADDICTIONS THEY DESERVE LOVE AND A SMILING FACE……JTD

I WAS THE MAN WHEN I WAS DRINKING AND DRUGGING EVERY NIGHT. WASN’T I THE MAN WHEN I HELPED YOU FIGHT. I KNOW I WAS THE MAN WHEN SHE LET ME STAY OVER EVERY NIGHT. BUT WAS I THE MAN WHEN THE JUDGE SAID 10, 20, TWO LIFE. DID THE TEARS FROM MY EYES MAKE ME LESS THAN A MAN FOR THE CRIMES. BUT IN MY MIND AS I STOOD THERE I COULD STILL SMILE CAUSE I KNEW SOMEBODY WAS STILL CALLING ME THE MAN SOMEWHERE. DIDN’T I JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND STEAL A METER WHEN YOUR LIGHTS GOT TURNED OFF. DIDN’T I JUMP THRU DARKNESS WHEN I CALLED THE MANAGER AT THAT THERE RESTAURANT AND SAID MY ORDER WAS MESSED UP. EVEN WHEN I DIDN’T BUY FOOD BECAUSE I NEEDED TO FEED YOU. I KNOW I WAS THE MAN WHEN I SHOWED UP TO THE HOSPITAL WHEN YOU AND YOUR SISTER WAS BOTH HAVING MY KIDS. I MEAN EVEN AS THEY TAKE ME TO DO MY TIME. I WAS THE MAN WASN’T I ???……JTD

After being clean and sober for awhile you will notice some things. You will sometimes feel like your mouth is bleeding. But when you touch it there’s no blood. Spending years as an addict all your friends seem to be gone. Yet for some strange reason you can always count on your dog. With a woman or man that loves you even if you can’t understand what they’re saying. Being able to see the sun shine gives meaning to the word praying. No one you ever have known seems to believe you have changed. But while standing in the road in front of the law they say have a nice day. As you turn and walk away you will feel the spirit of Josey Wales as freedom sets in. While you JUMP THRU DARKNESS and understand your war has come to an end. With the wisdom to know that drinking and drugging will start it all over again. Walk away into the sun set and stay free from addictions my friend……JTD

Some days are hard. Living all week on a pack of noodles and hot dogs. Sitting in a empty room and your mind is still filled with noise. Just to notice that it seems hard to breathe even with hard wind blowing. Pain pills seem to make any pain worse. Searching for something to help you within your wallet or purse. Then when you do make it to the end of the day. A meal and a warm shower should make you feel okay. But you quickly have to deal with a hard pillow that adds a slap to your mental and physical pain. You really have to JUMP THRU DARKNESS on those days. When sweat attacks you like a gang and no matter what you do the feelings still make you feel like you going insane. Remember to hold onto your sobriety and the hope of a new day. Yet that day may repeat but atleast you still will be sober and clean…JTD

To jump thru darkness I teach you many methods. One of my latest is called LACTOSE AND TOLERANT. You begin by noticing all the people in your life that are lacking (lac). You must then find away to rid yourself of such people in your life to sustain your sobriety. Never let anyone plan a trip for your life when they don’t have a destination for their own. Once you get rid of all the lacking people in your life you then give them a toast (TOSE) goodbye. Understand that life will still have its share of twists and turns. So learn to tolerate such things until you become tolerant to all things. Becoming tolerant to all things will make it harder for you to fall for anything including your addictions. Becoming tolerant will allow you to endure all things of this world better than most helping you to easily always JUMP THRU DARKNESS. So today start JUMPING THRU DARKNESS by becoming LACTOSE AND TOLERANT….

These days darkness comes in every form. From a woman that searches the internet to learn all your flaws. To a preacher calling the cops as soon as you leave the building saying its the word of GOD. To teachers hiding their addictions. To cops with drugs problems hoping no one see them tricking. Trust has been narrowed down to your inner circle and every now and then you wonder if they are loyal. With everyone watching the addicts but overlooking the real criminals. In a world where a lie can bring down the strong and empower the devils. In a time when you look at someone it seems as if you looking through a dirty mirror. Everytime a woman is alone with a man she wonders if he wants to sleep with her. Just to find out he likes her husband but still flirts with her. Single people are left searching for whats next bi, tri, homo, or interstate. Everyone left in this world has or is doing evil things. Making the truthful good climb back into jesus’s death cave. Pulling the boulder to close the hole and hope to JUMP THRU DARKNESS. While trying To live another day clean and sober……..JTD

They say you ain’t nothing without GOD. They say you aren’t anyone without a church home. Check this Jumping thru darkness is filled with words most preachers can’t or won’t say. At the same time if you not a member of their church no one no matter how good you maybe talking will listen. While standing along amongst so many other churches makes them want to stand their grounds. It only gives an addict gas to say ” hell all these churches and none of them can get along”. Making everything they say and do to seem better than others. While an addict in recovery needs to feel accepted. But how can you make an addict feel accepted when you down one another. Yet if they are not members you fall on deaf ear to them. That’s one reason I say JUMP THRU DARKNESS no matter the way. Preacher listen how can your words help the hopeless when you only want to deal with those that accept you and your congregation. In your mind the church is as far as you try to reach. Try reaching outside the walls with addictions and help someone to JUMP THRU DARKNESS and not just preach to your members but put your words in action that will also help the hopeless. Cause even an addict wants to go to heaven when it’s all said and done with……..JTD

To see where you maybe in your relationship and life when you are an addict or loving a addict do the bread test. Get five slices of bread. Two end pieces and three regular pieces. Grab your mate ( this can be used with any mix of relationships) and ask them how would they split the bread between the two of you. Some people will give the woman the two regular pieces and the man would be a gentleman and take one regular and one end piece. Leaving one end piece out. You can easily find out if your mate is selfish. If your mate puts everything into you. Or if your mate can truly share even the simplest of things like a piece of bread. Most addicts want the best of everything. Never thinking about anyone elses happiness. You can get deep with this test and easily look into the soul of your mate to see what really is beneath the cover and deep inside the person. Me I would give each of us one regular piece and one end piece. Because love and life should be equal in all things even when you are in a releationship with addictions. Yes you can be a gentleman and give your lover,friend etc.. the two regular pieces but you are not giving yourself the love you deserve. Its better to be fair and equal in all things. Letting him or her know you love them regardless. As you fight your addictions and JUMP THRU DARKNESS..

MANN I’M A DRUNK. THE WORDS YOU ARE READING ARE DRUNK. THE FINGERS THAT WROTE THIS BELONG TO A DRUNK. AT MY WEDDING I SAID NO I’D RATHER BE DRUNK. WHEN MY BOSS CALLED AND ASKED WAS I COMING TO WORK. I SAID HELL NAW I’M DRUNK. WHEN SHE ASKED WHY I DIDN’T SPEND THE NIGHT LIKE I WAS A PUNK. I TOLD THE CHICK SHE BE UGLY AND STANK WHEN I’M DRUNK. SHE ASKED ME WOULD SHE SEE ME AGAIN. I SAID YEAH WHEN I’M DRUNK. WHEN HER FOLKS TRIED TO FIGHT ME NO I DIDN’T RUN. IT WAS NOT BECAUSE I WAS BRAVE. I WAS JUST TO DRUNK TO RUN. EVERYDAY YOU HAVE TO BE BOLD ON ALCOHOLIC ROAD. I FEEL BAD ALSO. MY STOMUCH HURTING BECAUSE IM A DRUNK. SO I GUESS I’LL EASE THE PAIN BY GETTING DRUNK. NEVER MIND MY BREATH CAUSE YOU TO CLOSE. WHO WANTS GOOD BREATH WHILE THEY GETTING DRUNK. WHEN I PRAY I ASK GOD TO SPEAK TO NOAH CAUSE HE WAS A DRUNK. WHATEVER MANN I’M OUT ABOUT TO GO GET DRUNK. SOMETIMES THE DARKNESS CAN BE TO MUCH. BUT I MAY HAVE A BETTER CHANCE JUMPING THRU DARKNESS WHEN I’M DRUNK……JTD

JUMPING THRU DARKNESS WILL REQUIRE SOME MENTAL BATTLES. LETS TALK ABOUT VOICES AND HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSIONS. MANY OF YOU DEAL WITH THESE PROBLEMS. THE PROBLEMS THAT MAKE YOU FEEL YOU HEAR THINGS THAT MAKE YOU FEAR. MAKING EVERYONE AROUND YOU YOUR ENEMY IF YOU LET THE VOICES AND HALLUCINATIONS TELL IT. HAVING MOST PEOPLE WISHING FOR A QUIET NIGHT IN THEIR OWN HEADS AND EARS. MAKING YOU FEEL UNWANTED AND HATED. YES I KNOW I BEEN THERE. WE AS PEOPLE HAVE THESE PROBLEMS MORE OFTEN THAN YOU MIGHT THINK. THE VOICES OF PEOPLE SAYING YOU ARE A CRIMINAL. THE VOICES OF YOUR LOVER IS CHEATING. THE VOICES OF HOW YOU ARE HATED. MAKING IT HARD FOR YOU TO TALK TO AND TRUST PEOPLE WHEN THE VOICES YOU HEARD WERE THOSE VERY PEOPLE. HERE’S HOW YOU CAN JUMP THRU DARKNESS AND EASE SOME OF THOSE ISSUES. MOST TIMES THESE THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU ALONE. MANY TIMES AT NIGHT OR IN THE DARK. SO YOU GO INTO THE BATHROOM OR BEDROOM AND TURN THE LIGHT OFF. ANSWER EVERY VOICE YOU MAY HAVE OR MAYBE HEARING. HAVE IT OUT EVERYTHING YOU NEED TO SAY. SAY IT BACK TO THE VERY PLACE FROM WHICH IT COMES. AT NIGHT, IN THE DARK, BEHIND ITS BACK, IN HIDDEN SECRET, IS HOW YOU SHOULD RESPOND BACK TO THE VOICES, THE HALLUCINATIONS, THE DELUSIONS. BECAUSE THAT IS WHEN ALL THOSE THINGS ATTACK YOU. EMPTY OUT YOUR MIND IN ALL THOSE WAYS IN THE DARKNESS OF THE ROOM AND LET YOUR FEELINGS OUT. THIS WILL ALLOW YOU TO HAVE NORMAL DAYS AND NOT TAKE THINGS OUT ON INNOCENT PEOPLE. REMEMBER NO ONE HEARS THE VOICES YOU HEAR SO NO ONE HAS TO BATTLE IN THE DARKNESS WITH THE VOICES BUT YOU. LEAVE YOUR BATTLE WITH THE VOICES, HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSIONS IN THE DARKNESS OF THE ROOM BECAUSE THE DARKNESS MAY NEVER REALLY BOTHER YOU IN THE LIGHT. IF IT DOES THATS BECAUSE IT’S NOT A VOICE IT’S REAL LIFE. ALLOWING YOU TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHATS REAL AND WHATS NOT. MAKING IT EASY FOR YOU TO BATTLE WITH THE VOICES IN YOUR HEAD AND JUMP THRU DARKNESS……….

THE TWIST IN HER HIPS IS TO ATTRACT ANYTHING THAT SLANGS. SHE DOESN’T CARE IF THE BIG PACKAGE IS DRUGS OR IN HIS PANTS. SHE WILL GLADLY TAKE IT MY FRIENDS. MARRIED TO A PIECE OF MAN WITH HER FAVORITE WORDS BEING ” I DON’T GIVE A DAMN”. WHEN HER CHILDREN NEEDS HELP SHE SAYS THEM YOUR KIDS. SHE ONLY HAS DAY TO DAY FRIENDS. YOU WOULD SAY IT’S A SHAME IF I TOLD YOU HER AGE. BUT IF YOU RUN UP ON HER. SHE WILL TELL YOU QUICK “I DON’T PLAY GAMES”. SHE HAS AN ADDICTION AND HER ADDICTION IS EVERYTHING. SHE EVEN GETS BORED WHEN THE YOUNG MEN RUN THEIR TRAINS. SHE IS AS HARD AS A WOMAN CAN GET. HER JUMPING THRU DARKNESS HASN’T EVEN STARTED YET. AND WHEN YOU TELL HER SHE DOING BAD. SHE REPLIES WITH “HONEY I’M BLESSED”. MEN WE HAVE ALWAYS PROTECTED OUR WOMEN IN THE PAST. BUT ASK YOURSELF TODAY ARE WE LIVING THE DEFINITION OF THE WORD MAN. WHEN SO MANY OF OUR WOMEN ARE LIVING TO DIE WITH THEIR WIGS COCKED TO THE SIDE….JTD

I can remember walking back and forth to the store when I was young. On my block this house had a fence with the world’s meanest dog inside it. I hated when the dog would bark at me. Something in my head wondered why this dog always barked. First I tried to speak to the dog. Then I tried giving it a bone. He wouldn’t eat it. One night I had been drinking and I had a candy bar in my hand. I had forgotten the dog as I was walking. He ran beside the fence and barked and made me jump higher than I felt. I was mad he made me drop my candy bar. So I picked it up and tossed it over the gate. What do you know out of all the things the dog ate it. The next day the dog ran to the gate but didn’t bark. So every night I would toss the dog some candy. One night I had been at the laundry mat playing dice. It was me and them and they didn’t want me to win. Well that night they had to catch me cause I didn’t plan on losing. After winning I broke out running. Something said jump the gate. I looked as I was running to see if I could see the dog. I then in my mind JUMPED THRU DARKNESS and did some math in my head. Let’s see a group of mad thugs or a dog. I had a better chance fighting the dog. I jumped the fence and hide behind a tree. The thugs ran up to the fence. They didn’t see me. I looked back and I saw the dog looking at me. The dog then looked at them. Now at this point i,m looking up to god like if this dog bark i,m done. The dog walked slowly beside me and made me feel as if the grim reaper had smiled upon me. I became worried when he kept walking towards the gate. He barked at the thugs and they ran. The dog then walked over to me and looked up at me. I knew what time if was and I was glad I had JUMPED THRU DARKNESS earlier that day and bought some candy. As I gave him the candy I jumped back cross the fence but not before saying THAT’S MY DOG……..JTD

People always talk about what a parent will do when their kids are hungry. These days people need to pay attention to what a child may do when they notice their parents are hungry. JOBS ARE BEING LOST AS SOON AS JOBS ARE BEING FOUND. Parents spend their lives working to keep a roof over their head. Then one day a child walks into the room and finds their mother crying because of a job lay off. Or a father smoking a cigarette on the porch while waiting for a ride to work that never comes. At that moment JUMP THRU DARKNESS and talk to the children because if you don’t every child has a fire that can be lit inside them. For a child to feel like it’s all up to them is a dangerous thing. Which leads to addictions, crimes, and gangs. Kids have no fear. All they will have in their mind is they have to help put food on the table. Add in the fact that most of their parents are in and out of jail they turn on survival mode and do what they have to do as they say. The problem is in the ways a child can help. These days crime is the only way for a child to really help their parents. We as people need to JUMP THRU DARKNESS and find ways for the young to make honest money to help the household. Because lets face it what would you do if your parents were hungry and out in the cold?….JTD

Emptiness and loneliness can make you drink and use things you shouldn’t. Many teens start because of loneliness or the pressure of togetherness. Adults mostly do it to forget what they regret. This world can numb you into a blank existence. Having you reaching for situations that you really don’t want to miss. An addiction will make you say yes when you need to say no. It will have you feeling like you standing tall when lying on the floor. The feelings are so pleasant that your hopes and dreams all go up in smoke. Leaving you to chase your addiction instead of your dreams because you don’t have to wait to feel happy anymore. Emptiness and loneliness is what addictions use to knock upon your door. If you can JUMP THRU DARKNESS you will tell your addictions you don’t live there anymore. A tear to an addict is motivation to feed their habit. Anger from a drunk is motivation to drink one more. So remember that the next time your addiction knocks upon your door……..JTD

Every year I got financial aid for college. Every year they paid for room and board, meals and classes. Every year I was told I had to buy my own books. Every year I would stand outside the bookstore and watch others buy books,bags some even walked out with tv’s ( that was a college in the hood). Nevertheless every year the schools would tell me to pass without books. I spent almost twelve years in six different cities going to almost 12 different colleges with no books. Yet my grades were always above C so I could get my pell grant. I worked full time to pay off my tuition. I would walk into a class and just watch, listen, and profile the teacher. Others would be playing x and o games in their books. While I sat there with a empty desk dressed ready for work. I would take a test on friday and head to work. On monday the teacher would say great job you the only one in the class who got an A. I did all that with a hangover every week. See I JUMPED THRU DARKNES and went to the local library and found old editions of the textbooks to study from. I may have been poor but far from dumb. I have never had a rich uncle or even a well off auntie. But I have, do, and will always JUMP THRU DARKNESS to take care me. Anyway don’t say it ain’t no way. Just say which way will you use to solve your problems today……JTD

IN OUR WORLD TODAY WE ARE ALL WORRIED IN A WAY. PARENTS WORRY ABOUT THE CRIMINALS THAT MAY HURT THEIR CHILDREN. JUST TO TURN AROUND AND WORRY ABOUT THEIR CHILDREN BECOMING CRIMINALS. MOST WOULD GO TO CHURCH BUT MANY FEEL LEAVING CHURCH ALONE MAYBE BEST WHEN YOU HAVE TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE ON THESE STREETS. I CAN REMEMBER MOVING OUT THE SHELTER AFTER COLLEGE AND GETTING A JOB. I FOUND A PLACE TO STAY AND EVEN SOME NEW CLOTHES. WITH A NICE HAIR CUT AND SOME FAMILY DOLLAR COLOGNE I FELT SPECIAL. TWO MONTHS LATER I WAS WALKING AROUND FEELING GREAT UNTIL AN OLD MAN STEPPED TO ME AND ASKED….ARE YOU DOING BETTER NOW? I SAID YES I’M OUT THE SHELTER, I HAVE A JOB AND A PLACE TO STAY. HE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID OH YEAH THEN LOOK AT THE GROUND. HE THEN SAID SEE YOUR FEET ARE ON THE SAME ROAD YOU WAS ON BEFORE. YOU LEFT THE SHELTER BUT YOUR FEET DIDN’T. I SAID WHAT… HE SAID THEM THE SAME SHOES YOU HAD ON WHEN YOU WAS DOING BAD. IN YOUR MIND THINGS SEEM BETTER BUT YOUR FEET SAY YOU STILL DOING BAD. NOW IN LIFE THE GRASS OFTEN SEEMS GREENER WHEN YOU NOT WORRYING ABOUT ANYTHING. I LEARNED TO PRAY WITH MY HEAD UP BECAUSE AS SOON AS YOU DROP IT THE DEVIL WILL TRY TO SNEAK UP AND KNOCK YOU DOWN. ALL WHILE WE TRY TO KEEP A SMILE AND NOT A FROWN. EVEN WHILE WE SEARCH FOR A FEELING OF PEACE AND HAPPINESS. WE WILL SEARCH FOR A SMILE TO HELP CALM US. WE WILL SEARCH FOR A SMILE TO LET US KNOW WE MADE IT. THIS MONTH IF NO ONE ELSE GIVES YOU A SMILE TRY A PAIR OF NEW SHOES. THAT WAY YOUR FEET ATLEAST WON’T FROWN……..JTD